No one is saying that Jessica Simpson is not a pretty, sort of semi-talented, girl. We watched Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica too, we're not immune to her ditzy charm, although, perhaps the bloom is off the rose. Let's just say we've been noticing that Jessica has made certain sartorial decisions lately that are questionable at best. Starting with the decision to purchase the majority of her wardrobe at Katrina's Crazy Caftan Emporium.
We can just hear our critics now. "She's short! She has fashion limitations." Please, we all have fashion limitations. For women these can be summed up in three little words: high waisted pants. For men, let's just go ahead and say the word mesh. Millions of women outfit their small frames in stylish and proportional ways every day. Take for example Rachel Bilson who provides an exact counterpoint to the wardrobe insanity that is Ms. Simpson.
Bilson follows and Simpson overlooks one of our cardinal rules: "When one wears pants, one must also appear to be wearing shoes."
When Jessica wears dresses, they seem to be either too young or too old. Rachel has mastered the gray area of "just right."
Also, by the way Jess, the poncho is not the only way to keep warm. Maybe it's time to invest in a scarf or two to avoid looking like Hoss from Bonanza.
What's that Jessipoo? You're not going to finish your tuna sandwich because you're running out to the mall. Thanks, but we don't eat Buffalo.
Yours truly,
The Aesthetes
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