Weighing In: March 17th

PH: I've decided I don't like wearing green when arbitrary tradition suggests I do so.

B: No worries, St. Patty's is just one of those holidays we just "don't do." Sort of like Halloween.

PH: It's the forced textile-related traditions. We enjoy having full control over our wardrobe choices. Can't mess with that.

B: Clearly.

Whining Over Wine: Episode Two

Bravo TV: How Far the Mighty Are Falling...

Betsy: yo yo
Phat Tony: hey stranger
PH: how've you been?
PH: And speaking of one's current emotional state, and thus media stimuli that will inevitably affect such state... how ridiculous does that new Bravo dance show sound? So ridiculous, basically because Elizabeth Berkley is the host.
PH: I mean, is she the best they could do?
B: oh god yeah
PH: And did you see her try to do a dance move/dance pose in the previews?
B: oh god no
PT: Her pose looked like her dance experience was limited to Greek Week dance team and Cardio Striptease. And yeah, sure... Showgirls.
B: mmm, P-Tone, this could be THE new justin bobby... We must watch this show
PH: Obviously.
B: I mean, greek week dance team that is a pretty spot on reference
PH: I don't think I had uttered those words since college UNTIL I saw her.
PH: I mean, there's something very real and disturbing when sorority girls have that blind sort of self-confidence...
like, they're amazing dancers because last weekend, their sorority sisters totally cleared the floor at barn dance.
B: Are there any promo pics for this show yet... let me check
PH: There have to be.
B: Here's the Bravo website, I'm not seeing anything great on google ...
PH: And another thing... what kind of excessive name is that? It seriously made sense to them to combine the names of borderline tired dance-themed movies and Paula Abdul's mid90's dance mix CD = New Bravo reality show title?!
B: blog this immediately

Celebrity Time Machine: The Mask Edition

Surely you know by know that we have a healthy respect for Ms. Diaz and especially several of her movies (Charlie's Angel Trilogy, My Best Friend's Wedding). But I think we can all tell where this is going:

Classic Denim

Ladies and gentlemen, we present you the top two reasons the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD needs to take one giant step away from "trendy denim."

I mean, not that you're taking your fashion cues from Mario "stonewashed" Lopez and/or Mariah "she of the unflattering pants" Carey. At least we hope you're not. Right?

Back When Cher was Awesome

We can't seem to avoid sequins lately to the extent that it's become a predictably standard sight on any given night out. The dedicated reader knows how we feel on the issue; sequins are a vaguely showy element of fashion that must exist in an appropriate time and a place. Sequined sneakers, obviously, are a clear no but a more subtle and mixed use of sequins can be palatable. Take for example Heidi Klum pairing a sequined top with a structured blazer. We like that. We also like sequins mixed with any sort of tweed or wool or other heavier fall more daytime appropriate fabric. We can't explain why, we just think it makes a lot more sense then wearing a plain be-sequined dress. Said plain sequined dress is not necessarily a faux pas per se, it's just so boring on its own, even before considering the fact that you can count on at least one if not five other women wearing something similar and making your wardrobe seem a bit standard issue.

On the other side of the coin, some uses of sequins are the farthest things from boring. We were at a party a few weeks ago and we swear to you on ice cream sandwiches that there was a girl wearing a sparkly matching two piece ensemble of some sort of halter top and pants. Seriously, this is something that we couldn't even make up if we tried. We could NOT figure out what was going on except that sequins have been put in the hands of people who clearly don't know how to use them. Lets be really brutally honest here, Cher could never really pull off these types of looks. Not even back when Cher was awesome.

We Love Boat Shoes...

But we're not going to tell you why until Summer. Call it a preview if you will.

AQoT: Live From the Red Carpet

And by live from the red carpet we mean live from the red carpet in our pj’s, on our couches, with snacks. Let the games begin.

6:00pm Sweet Jesus what is Seacrest wearing? A black suit with brown trim? In what parallel universe is this a good idea? Has he no access to GQ? Think man, we beg of you, WWNPHD? We don’t care if this is Dolce & Gabbana, we’re looking at a black on black shirt/tie combination.

6:13pm Oh snap, Kimora is here, get ready for some crazy. Aside from her wearing all of South Africa’s diamonds, she looks surprisingly almost subdued in her long navy dress.

6:22pm Heidi Klum is in a nice Cayenne dress. Strapless with some sort of cute bolero that perhaps we’d be mocking if this weren’t Heidi Klum. Seal has a really fabulous accent. Wait a minute, they just panned down. This dress has some kind of fish-tail cape situation which leaves us feeling confused and a little bit hurt.

6:51pm Jason Bateman wearing the standard tux and of course, it’s hard to go wrong with that. Sidenote: why do we love the Batemans, Jason and/or Justine, so much. PH: do you want to weigh in on that one?

6:52pm There are a LOT of one shoulder dresses this year. Toga style.

7:09pm Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is here. Irrelevant.

7:14pm Amy Adams is doing an amazing forest green perhaps a redhead cliché but still, it’s working. Ah yes, Proenza Schouler. Love it.

7:21pm Laura Linney and Jennifer Garner in black. Yawn. I’d have fallen asleep completely except for some awkwardness involving Gary Busey. Or Nick Nolte. One can never tell the difference.

7:47pm Kimora and Giuliana DePandi Rancic are hating on Amy Adams dress. And they’re wrong, obviously.

7:58pm Renee Zellweger looks uncomfortable with her hair. Awkward.

8:12pm John Travolta looks like he’s wearing a hair helmet. His wife is wearing an interesting orangey-yellow which would've been better if it weren't so derivative of Michelle Williams in 2006.

8:19pm Helen Mirren is wearing rhinestone sleeves. Mistake.

8:20pm Both Daniel Day Lewis and Johnny Depp are doing this same black/brown suit situation. We're going to hate seeing this proliferate.

8:27pm Juno (Ellen Page) is wearing black, she looks like herself which we find refreshing.

And the Oscar goes to…