#10 Keith Michael... really, two first names? Here's a hint: the ones that matter seem to make do with one. Maybe that's where you lost it. Or maybe it was the fact that you thought the rules didn't apply to you. That was dumb. Reality competition television is nothing if not crystal clear in their rules. You hit someone, you get kicked off. You lie, cheat and steal, you make for great drama. You look at pattern books, you pack your bags. What we don't understand is that you were talented. You got onto the show by telling it how it was: your past is in men's design, but you honestly think that the same methods can be applied to women's fashion, and you intended to prove it. You tailored a sheet, for god's sake, adding red buttons from a duvet cover for effect, and everyone noticed. Your design for Miss USA, while not the winner, was arguably the one that would be most flattering on everyone. Your design on the episode on which you got kicked off, was finished without you, but was one of the top two designs. You were dumb, but you were gifted... at least you made it onto a top ten list. Hopefully that says something.
Almost-finalist Laura Bennett is an example of a designer with a strong point of view. The judges may or may not have appreciated that she was designing for the 55-85 age group but none could claim that she didn't know who she was. Admittedly, her PR career may have begun with some rocky forays into the world of the fur collar but she pulled herself out of that and subsequently doled out some measured, smart looks. We're not claiming it was necessarily groundbreaking but aside from her propensity to create black feathered swan numbers (which we just heard Laura Bennett is still doing for some unknown reason) we feel she truly found her voice by the end of the competition. We definitely found her final runway show much more palatable than Michael's messy urban jungle nightmare and for this reason, season 3's Laura Bennett comes in at #9 on our countdown.
#8 Alexandra. You're cute, maybe the most adorable of any Project Runway contestant in the history of the show... what's annoying is that your designs were almost as adorable. You had such a clear point of view, and considering you were only, what, 23, that's saying something. Your designs were girly and delicate, but never excessively so. They always made your models look sexy, but not trashy. We can't help but remember the bikini that the judges hated, but we feel like we've seen don the hottest bodies on South Beach. We're hoping that you've gotten a second chance, because your time on Project Runway clearly did not display what you were capable of.
What ever happened to sweet, lovable, cries at the drop of a hat Andrae? Season 2's Andrae may have been the butt of a seriously funny Santino impression of Tim Gunn but he also ranks #7 on our list. Aside from one horrible orange spherical object incident that took place during the Barbie episode, we loved Andrae's use of subtle blue gray tones and the way his fabrics often draped and moved in a highly pleasant way. We were sad when he was sent home over that cute little Hepburnesque dress made out of astroturf in the make clothing out of plants episode (seriously, where do they come up with this stuff?). We liked his garment in this episode better than Santino's and we definitely think he would've put on a better fourth runway show than Kara Janx. We don't know what he's up to now but back then Andrae Gonzolo, was definitely robbed.
Stoic Emmett McCarthy comes in at #6 on our countdown. Having entered the competition with little experience in Women's clothing, we forgave Mr. McCarthy for his opening mistake involving pink. (Don't tell anyone but most girls don't actually like pink anyway). After noting several great choices in future episodes, we truly lamented the fact that he was kicked off for fashioning a pants-less skating costume. Who needs pants anyway? Emmett could have wound up with a shining career as Britney Spears' chief costume designer. While it did irk us that Emmett continually reminded both judges and viewers that he was a Menswear designer by training and had never attempted Women's wear, we think he was robbed in Season 2 and we commend him on his strong, saleable collection recently featured at his NYC boutique EMC2.
#5 Uli...Ulrike... whatever... you got to the final round, and you were SO close to winning. I almost don't really understand why you didn't win, given the consistency of your work, the clarity of your point of view, and the lovely German-ness we thought only Heidi Klum could provide. Most relevant to our interests, however, is the idea that Uli was able to work with prints and not against them. She never made us feel as though she were a fashion school dropout, sewing together arbitrary mismatched pieces of fabric and calling it haute couture, or throwing a leopard-print our way that screamed "Remember me? A few weeks ago when you got lost and wondered into a J.C. Penney? Plus-sized lingerie section? No? Well, let me remind you!" She, instead, created a bit of an edge, and not just a little bit of glamour in piece after piece. Never was her work better displayed than in her finale runway collection, where she hit us with killer piece after piece after piece. She peaked at the right time, but being 2nd can't be enough shine for her... (not to mention her mom. Remember her? How German and adorable was she?!)
We love pretty people, we really do. We love staring at their pretty little faces and basking in the shine of their gleaming hair. We especially love pretty and talented people (seriously, check out our friends) and at that, Season 3's Alison qualifies. Her six episode stint on PR was woefully short and we found all of her garments both whimsical and wearable. We think it supremely unfair that she got eliminated on a challenge to make clothing out of garbage. Who thought that was a good idea? Note to Tim Gunn: Alison's dress did not come close to making her model look fat. It was unflattering because it was made out of trash! Okay, so what if she asked the stylist to fashion a bow made out of HAIR to place atop her models head in her losing challenge, that does not change the fact that Angela "Fleurshon" Kesslar and Vincent "Turns Me On" Libretti survived longer. Alison Kelly ranks #4 in Project Runway ex-contestants who were robbed.
Our pick for #3 is Nick Verreos. Oh Nick. Nick Nick Nick. How you so briefly graced us with your presence, from your tailored muslin madness to your tearful farewell, offending the judges via some "feminine" fabrics on Daniel V., while you successfully modeled Chloe's pink-satin backed vest... Your only win was arguably your tackiest. You had an eye for design and style, which apparently can only be appreciated by the west coast aesthetes. Who could forget your party dress, designed for Nicki Hilton, which could've won if elegance was the name of the game. Tara rocked the crap out of that outfit, and probably would've made a paper bag look stunning. We still hate Zulema for taking Tara away from you, arguably messing up your concentration, (although major points go to you for dragging that model out of gumby-legged limbo with your "Mykonos" piece) but we know you're destined for fashion-greatness... maybe just not on Bravo TV.(Oh, and Nick, if it's any consolation, we actually went to Zulema's Spring 2007 show. All the time in the world couldn't have helped with her unfinished seams and messy tailoring... I mean, not even the crappy resolution on my camera phone could hide what a mess her work was. So whatev, you win.)
Nora Caliguri from Season 1, dismissed after only 5 short episodes, was most definitely robbed. Her clothes were just punk rock enough while still amazingly well constructed. We find it incredibly painful that she was eliminated on the wedding dress episode. First of all, it wasn't that bad and second, she was truly following her clients wishes. She was between a rock and a hard place. Design a dress more towards Nora's rock n' roll design sensibility and face criticism for not listening to client wishes on the most important day of her life or give the woman the poufy skirt she's always dreamed of and call it a day. I think we all know what the right decision is here. Nora Caliguri is number #2 on our list.
#1 Okay, being from the midwest gives one (in this case, us) a bit of perspective... High fashion isn't for everyone; by that, I mean that some people understand high fashion even less than they can afford it. However, looking fantastic in what appears to be an expensive outfit is something that can be translated to absolutely everyone, and I think Kayne did his part in helping a special niche: beauty queens who naively think they know how to look good and the mothers who are living vicariously through them. As you may or may not know, Kayne owns a dress shop, for which he designs and makes dresses that are prom n' pageant appropriate. He designs for his market, but his market does not design for him. Let's respect that in Oklahoma, he's not exactly a kick-step-do-si-do away from the leading industry centers, but he has worked very hard and effectively, for lack of a better phrase, to make it work.Case in point: check out this little number... Disregarding what the judges may have said (while, of course, relaying all appropriate respect to the Kors-Garcia-Klum triumverate), this answer to the Paris couture challenge was everything it was supposed to be: detailed, precise, handworked, and a piece of art. The way the fabric moved made the bottom of the dress almost shimmer, emulating the exceptionally flattering bodice piece, was nothing if not dreamlike, and the back of the dress, with the satin ribbon tie, allowed the fitting of the dress to be easily matched perfectly to the model's specifications.
Kayne shows us that even the most unexpected individual may have great talent, if only given the proper venue via which to express themselves without restraint... and this, with no hesitation, inspires us to name Kayne our #1 PR Loser. (Of course, this all being said... Kayne, babe, pumpkin, can we talk about that blingy-name-belt? You work it with confidence, but the sh*t is tacky. Work it out. Thanks.)
So... to all you Season 4 Project Runway contestants: Auf Wiedersehen. We'll be watching.
1 comment:
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