Bromance

Brody Jenner: Hey Dude
Kevin Federline-Spears: Yo yo Brody, what's happening?
BroJ: Oh nothing man, just trying to get up in that reality show limelight as my own person. I just signed a deal with MTV to do my own show called Bromance. FINALLY, I can get out of the long Lauren Conrad shadow.
KevFed: I feel you dude. I've been trying to get out of the wife's shadow fo'eva.
BroJ: Don't you mean ex-wife?
KevFed: Whatever, she's still the ball and chain weighing me down. Why can't I go to rehab? Where is the paparazzi when I go shopping at Ed Hardy? Where are my record sales? Popozao.
BroJ: Gesundheit, I think you could probably go to rehab if you really wanted to.
KevFed: Ugh, she just makes me so mad. No one's letting me perform at the Music Video Awards drunk with no rehearsals. No one says boo when I shave my head.
BroJ: Well, at least you've got that Asian inspired shirt.
KevFed: Yeah, I like yours too. Lightning! It's like Fire. Bold choice man, bold choice.
BroJ: Oh look! I think we're being photographed. It's the shirts man, I think it's finally working!

Dear Stylist: The Other Boleyn Girl

Dear Stylist,

We're fans of historical fiction, clearly. It's all the drama and intrigue without all the messy ties to what really, actually happened. So with the release of The Other Boleyn Girl, we're pretty excited, especially upon hearing that it would star the eminently watchable Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman.


Our eyes skipped by this photo of the starlets at the premiere just as easily as we find ourselves jamming along to a favorite 80s track only to then discover that we're listening to Eaaasy One Oh Two Point Seeeveeeen. Can anyone assure us that we're not the only ones experiencing this phenomenon on a regular basis, please, pretty please?

Upon closer inspection we realize that while Scarlett's dress is a lovely, flattering shade and seems to be a nice classic shape, she is also wearing enough eyeliner to put Lauren Conrad to shame. Subsequently, Ms. Portman is sporting what seems to be a lace tatoo. With strategically placed drapery of course but seriously Portman, Queen Amidala had more red carpet appropriate garb. And she was super-busy saving her planet.

Yours truly,
The Aesthetes

Weighing In: Headbands

Quite clearly, headbands have been around for a while. A preppy staple, we credit Hilary Clinton's overuse in the early 90s that first launched this trend into a nationally debated topic.

More recently, LC ahem, Lauren Conrad of the Hills fame and recently tapped as a fashion "maven" by some media sources, had been noted for frequent headband use.


What do we think aside from the fact that Lauren Conrad does not a fashion "maven" make? Well let's not split hairs here, I mean, she's wearing a headband, on her head. We really aren't going to spend our time having a whole lot of issues with that choice. What we do have problems with is the quite disturbing trend we noticed all summer of girls in New York wearing headbands around their foreheads hippie style or Rambo style if you prefer. We prefer that this trend go the way of the poncho but we're very afraid after this montage from New York Fashion Week by Fashionista.

Say it isn't so.

Holy Eyeliner Batman

We admit that we're really not afraid of bad TV. We watch America's Next Top Model, we watch the OC, we even watch its reality-based spin off "Laguna Beach" (we think it's funny how evil those freaky kids are). Our Tivo's are also, not surprisingly, set to capture every vapid moment of the spin off to the spin off, "the Hills." However we admit, we're 28, and we don't quite get all of it, namely the appeal of Spencer. Thankfully, we get most of the fashion. The LC beach-girl-chic, the Whitney why-is-everyone-around-me-so-much-stupider-than-me nouveau preppy. What we don't get is the eyeliner.



We've never seen so much liquid liner on girls under 25. Its like they're channeling the late Tammy Faye Bakker here. And what bothers us is not that they've decided to go with that look here, on the red carpet, its that, and you'd certainly know this if you watched the show, they wear this stuff morning, noon and night. Let's call it what it is, excessive, and more importantly, these girls are emboldening this guy: