The Madden, The Man, The Accessory

Does anyone else think it's creepy that the on-again, off-again, best friend, reality show duo of Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are dating identical boyfriends?


Apparently the new hot accessory in Hollywood is a Madden brother. Unfortunately, they are VERY limited edition with a waiting list longer than Hermes'.

Dear Stylist: Paris Hilton Should Cut Her Losses and Move to Boca

Dear Stylist,

They tell me Paris Hilton is a young girl. I suppose that's what the dancing on the tables, all too often with hands above head and dare I say snapping, is about. However are we the only ones who have noticed a shift in her wardrobe lately?


We've always preferred Ms. Hilton sans weave but we don't really see the point of teasing the natural do into a poufy oblivion since it seems to add about 40 years to the look. Also, by now hopefully we all can agree on the dangers of wearing animal prints, namely that you look like you've gone one step too far on "vintage" bandwagon and you've spent far too much time poking around in Nana's cobweb-filled closet.


I mean, don't get us wrong, we're certainly not implying that Paris would be anything less than the TOAST of the retirement community and she'd likely land a lucrative deal posing for the cover of Joan Collins next and surely scintillating novel Misfortune's Infamous Daughters. We're just saying that she should strongly consider taking her budding "crazy animal-lady" tendencies to more sympathetic pastures than LA.



I hear Del Boca Vista has a few vacancies.

Yours truly,

The Aesthetes

Vested Interests

Vests have come back into our lives faster than Michael Vick struck his plea deal and we think it's high time to discuss a few rules here. Let's start with the women.

Note to Fergie Ferg, I thought we agreed to leave Kids Incorporated in the 80's, no? There are so many things going awry in the above photo that Phat Tony and I have a collective headache. (Phat Tony: "Ow.") The overarching difficulty we have though, is the poor use of the vest. The rule illustrated in this example is while we'd like to restrict the use of vests to thinner women, we also feel that it's important to have a smaller chest (read: only B cups and below need apply). We like how Paris Hilton's vest below contributes to a long, lean silhouette.

For the men, several issues arise. Once again, we ask that the general public submit to dressing for their body types. Vests are only passable on thinner guys. No exceptions. Think Pete Doherty or Adam Brody, for example. We love how a v-neck sweater vest can dress down a suit.

One must always pay attention to the proportion and fit of one's shirt in order to avoid bulkiness, and of course, it is always imperative that one wears a shirt.