Celebrity Time Machine: Tyra Banks is Morphing into My Grandma

Say what you will about Tyra Banks' career post modeling. Sure, she gained a little weight, and yes, she favors makeup that can only be described as dragqueenesque, but let's not forget that she also has her own talk show on which she features topics as varied as: Why Did You Dump Me and Tyra, Help My Mom Find A Man. Her other show, America's Next Top Model, has been around for 10 full seasons or "cycles" which really highlights the cultural importance of said programing that they were able to rename the long accepted moniker for "group of shows."

Aside from all that, we'd been noticing something for a few months now and can no longer keep it to ourselves. Tyra Banks is slowly but surely morphing into my Grandma.

As entertaining as this may be for us, it pains us that we can't let you in on the palpable certainty with which we make this proclamation. We realize that you have know way of knowing exactly what my Grandma looks like but lets just say it involves crazy wigs and a lot of this expression.

We Love Heidi Klum

Is Heidi Klum not just perfect? Of the many models turned hosts out there (that means you Tyra) Heidi has managed to retain a sort of down to earth appeal that does not rely on convincing the world of the tough life she's had. She also happens to be reasonably likable on camera (that means you Nikki Taylor and Tyson Beckford).

We definitely love the adorable family and as if the seal pups weren't reason enough, she also pulls off the cute printed hoodie look better than Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani and Cameron Diaz combined.


She can also do many things that most people including but not limited to Sienna Miller and Mischa Barton cannot such as high waisted denim.


She's never let us down on the red carpet,


and we love the idea of having a signature style. Ms. Klum has perfected one of our personal favorites, the sequined top/blazer/skinny jean ensemble.

Dear Stylist: Old Spice Edition

Dear Stylist,

We have no shame over our love of pop music. In fact, our cries of "gimme more gimme gimme gimme" were barely heard over the din of the last VMAs. There even were 10 minutes in the 90s where we would've been happy to "tell you what I want what I really really want." Despite the bad lyrics (2 become 1?) and the even worse fashion,

here we sit a solid ten years post the Spice's rise to fame and Sporty, Scary, Baby, Ginger and Posh are still (somewhat) in the public eye. Amazingly, and thanks to you stylist, there has been no respite from the bad fashion.

We do admit that two of the five women may have come out slightly ahead of the errant spice situation. Emma Bunton aka Baby Spice has adopted a Twiggy as ANTM judge look for which we do not find fault.


And despite the Crazy-Catwoman leather jumpsuit motif, we applaud Geri Halliwell (Ginger) for the impeccable hair and makeup.


Mel C's colored denim gaffe brings her to about even with the old days,


which leaves the real task of spreading the crazy falling squarely on the shoulders of Melanie (Scary) Brown and Victoria (Posh) Beckham.

Luckily these two special ladies do not disappoint. Mel B may have recently won her paternity suit against Eddie Murphy but has since violated several state and local statutes regarding the misuse of animal print.

Have we learned nothing from Ms. Spears? Do not, I repeat do NOT get photographed in or around the bathroom.


Despite Victoria Beckham's short lived reality show and current clothing line, there is still a bit of Eau d'Irrelevance perfuming the air around her. Not to mention our strong suspicion that she's dressing like Captain Kangaroo on purpose.


Zig-a-zig-huh?

Yours truly,
The Aesthetes

Throw Pillow Throwdown

There aren't very many small, relatively inexpensive changes to make to one's space that can pack a lot of power. We've already covered wall decals, one of our favorites, and now we must discuss the rather more obvious, throw pillows.

As common as this decorating tool is, we find it often a frustratingly complex and agonizing choice. We tend to change throw pillows an average of once a year. Before reading on to some of our favorite resources, be sure to check out Design*Sponge's ugliest pillow contest finalists where much hilarity and many pony motifs ensue.

Color/Texture

After dabbling with a few unsuccessful prints, we recently found solace in an unassuming gray linen from West Elm. It's impossible to discuss solid colors without delving into texture because these two elements work in tandem. Bold or neutral, we feel texture is essential. We're picturing a bold color in a shiny smooth fabric and it's reminding us of the wardrobe room of Honeymoon in Vegas. For solid colors in appealing textures (read: comfortable to kick back on for an America's Next Top Model marathon) we like both West Elm and CB2. We stick to solids here because we've tried prints from these merchants and while they appeal at first, when lived with, they always end up feeling a bit pedestrian.

The one caution we offer has to do with something we like to call "ethno-texture," which usually involves some combination of sequins, mini-mirrors and/or cowrie shells. As well intentioned as they may be, they always end up feeling like a post-collegiate Urban Outfitters mess.


Prints

The panoply of prints can be overwhelming but one can find just the vibe for their space with a little effort. Even though as a design trend there's talk of "played out" we still enjoy a good nature motif and a hands down favorite resource is inhabit living.



If custom is more your speed, Repro Depot has an amazing selection of reasonably priced fabrics and it can be surprisingly cheap to have custom pillow covers made. In NYC, we have an amazing super-secret resource that we'll divulge if you email us. Check out a few examples of the changing selection below.

Holy Eyeliner Batman

We admit that we're really not afraid of bad TV. We watch America's Next Top Model, we watch the OC, we even watch its reality-based spin off "Laguna Beach" (we think it's funny how evil those freaky kids are). Our Tivo's are also, not surprisingly, set to capture every vapid moment of the spin off to the spin off, "the Hills." However we admit, we're 28, and we don't quite get all of it, namely the appeal of Spencer. Thankfully, we get most of the fashion. The LC beach-girl-chic, the Whitney why-is-everyone-around-me-so-much-stupider-than-me nouveau preppy. What we don't get is the eyeliner.



We've never seen so much liquid liner on girls under 25. Its like they're channeling the late Tammy Faye Bakker here. And what bothers us is not that they've decided to go with that look here, on the red carpet, its that, and you'd certainly know this if you watched the show, they wear this stuff morning, noon and night. Let's call it what it is, excessive, and more importantly, these girls are emboldening this guy:

Design Star is Back!

We’re unabashedly on the reality TV bandwagon. We may however skew more towards the talent based contests such as, Pussy Cat Dolls Presents: Search for the Next Doll and America’s Next Top Model AKA Tyra Banks Likes to Make Pretty Girls Cry, rather than those we feel lack a raison d’etre such as the Survivors and Fear Factors of the world. We especially appreciate programs dedicated to the furthering of our three passions: fashion, food, and interior design otherwise known as the 9th 10th and 11th chakras respectively. Imagine our joy upon learning that Design Star is coming back for a second season on HGTV.


This underrated show brought us Color Splash with David Bromstad which we love equally for its cheesiness as its tendency to inspire thought-provoking debate and discussion. What are the implications of the “feature wall”? Is the chunky fireplace overused? Trust us on this one, Design Star blows its Bravo competitor Top Design out of the water. It has a nice low budget feel and the producers don’t get too hands on in promoting contestant histrionics.

We think you should watch it. We also think you should play the Design Star fantasy game online with us.

Auf Weidersehen

Halter Falter

Halter tops are ok... but they are feeling very 90s to us lately. I mean, this is cute:

In an "I came to the mall to try out for America's Next Top Model" sort of way.

Halter tops are deceivingly tricky. They have an insidious way of highlighting your fat if that's an issue. Or any sort of beanpole issues. And, more importantly, they impart a Brenda Walsh style "Dylan McKay get over here right this minute" feel.

This garment has all the makings of a flattering look. The narrowest part hits right below the bustline, most women's smallest area. The criss-cross neckline draws attention towards the face. Those two things almost balance out the overall overexposure. Perhaps someday we'll feel ok about halter tops again but right now, they're feeling tired.

(Phat Tony Addendum: Tired? Maybe more like exhausted. I feel as though some women were told 10-15 years ago that halter tops look amazing if you have a certain type of body. Regardless of changes of style, and the availability of other viable options, these women are sticking with the standard halter that creates the exact same silhouette. I've been reminded far too often of the stagnant stylings of Central Ohio senior proms and picnic days. Anyway... back to Betsy...)

If you must, let go of the idea that a halter top will make you look perky and curvy. A more modern feel is long and lean. We love this example by Ella Moss:

Prints wouldn't work here nor do heinous embellishments such as sequins, broaches, flowers. As usual, keep it simple. Good luck.