Question of the Day: What Former Project Runway Contestent Was Recently Unleashed on Hollywood

Seriously, where are Michael Kors and Nina Garcia when they're needed:


ill fitting,


unecessarily complex


and badly constructed have come to town, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.

We Love Heidi Klum

Is Heidi Klum not just perfect? Of the many models turned hosts out there (that means you Tyra) Heidi has managed to retain a sort of down to earth appeal that does not rely on convincing the world of the tough life she's had. She also happens to be reasonably likable on camera (that means you Nikki Taylor and Tyson Beckford).

We definitely love the adorable family and as if the seal pups weren't reason enough, she also pulls off the cute printed hoodie look better than Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani and Cameron Diaz combined.


She can also do many things that most people including but not limited to Sienna Miller and Mischa Barton cannot such as high waisted denim.


She's never let us down on the red carpet,


and we love the idea of having a signature style. Ms. Klum has perfected one of our personal favorites, the sequined top/blazer/skinny jean ensemble.

Judging Project Runway a.k.a. It's Funny Because It's True

We love Project Runway. We've always loved Project Runway. Ever since Jay McCarroll gave hope to every big-boned awkward cast-out who always thought they were relegated to stage crew and never stardom (a lesser known variant of "always a bridesmaid, never a bride"), we've trusted in the PR credo of finding the next great American designer. We still do.

But outside of the talent-related qualities of this new group of designers, we've started to question... well, the taste level of this motley crew with respect to everything else...

First of all, let it be known that each of their respective achievements cannot be overstated.  All of these designers were chosen for a reason.  They know what they're doing.  Yay Carmen Chris Christian Elisa Jack Jillian Kevin Kit Marion Rami Ricky Simone Steven Sweet P and Victorya.  That's coming from the heart.  Love you, mean it.  That being said...

Jack.  If you over-extend your arms over your head ONE MORE TIME... well, I can't really make any threats, I'm just saying it's a bad idea.  You're teetering on the edge of mid-90's circuit queen.  That look is over, and if you need more convincing, may we refer you to the wisdom of... well... us.

Kit.  We're hoping that you're this season's Alison Kelly, except without the unfortunate recycling challenge incident.  You also might want to lose the hairbow.  Or not.  Your choice.

Sweet P.  Thank you for clearly being good at construction.  Now could you do us a favor and maybe take us on a tour through your portfolio?  And of course, by portfolio, we mean tattoos.  Thanks.

Carmen.  We're sure it makes complete sense to you why a designer doesn't really know what they're doing unless they've been a model.  Okay, let's say, for (absolutely asinine) argument's sake, that your opinion is valid.  We're just going to say that humanity's ability to adapt to difficulties in their environment has been well documented.  I understand this is a bit of a stretch, but we tend to think that the concept of evolution and the ability for human beings (and maybe living things, in general, regardless of phylum) to adapt allows us to infer that maybe, just maybe, a few of those individuals NOT six feet tall, with high cheekbones, perfect skin, and/or an indelible desire to model clothing while adeptly performing the walk-walk-walk-half turn-half turn-walk-walk-walk-half turn-full turn-walk-walk-walk-walk-walk maneuver, may have found the ability to become great designers.  But you don't have to believe me... Believe Michael Kors, the fashion-world's answer to Dr. Phil.  Not pretty.

Jillian.  We don't get you.  We also have no idea if you can create anything other than that short flared skirt thing you keep making... and wearing.  It's an awkward niche to be in.  And no, not awkward interesting, but awkward huh?

Kevin.  Could you do something more exciting?  I mean, the most exciting thing so far is that you're not gay.  Seriously?  That's your defining feature?  Happy day, you're straight, good times.  Now what?  Oh wait, that's right, you design jeans, and one of said designs was featured on the cover of a Victoria's Secret catalogue.  Okay, that's something.  We still need more.  Just saying.

Christian.  You're quirky.  Not interesting.  There's a difference.  Maybe you'll learn that once you turn 22.

Chris.  Looking at you, we just feel like there's something to superficially mock.  Perhaps your refusal to run.  Perhaps your inability to complete sentences when with SJP.  But whatever man, you've sort of proven that you aim to do your damn thing on this show.

Elisa.  You were so lucky to be paired with Sweet P on last week's episode.  Your ideas are sound, but your methods of cleaning and completing are a bit junky.  Don't get too comfortable... you're not always going to have your fellow competitors ironing the crappiness out of your designs.  Oh, and as a special request, don't spit on our outfits.  It's a tad nasty.

Steven.  So you have a personality, right?  We thought we caught a bit of it during the PR previews... Your craftmanship is good, but we wish we could remember what you looked like.  Thank god for BravoTV.com.

Ricky.  Stop crying.  It's pathetic.  You've successfully dragged us kicking and screaming from the point of "in touch with his feelings" to "whiny little bitch."  You don't deserve that, as a person, we understand, but stop giving us so much fodder.  We also already know that you were a lingerie designer.  You're starting to get close to Emmett (previous PR contestant) who repeated weekly that he was a menswear designer.  At the end of the day, you're here, stop thinking that the lack of variety in your CV is a crutch.  Excuses are gross, you heard it here first.

Simone and Marion.  You're gone now, so we'll spare our unkind, however true, words... this time.

And as for you two, Rami and Victorya...  Stay cool, KIT, BFF 4 E and E, have a great summer, loved those great times in History class, you're the best.

We Love Project Runway: Ep. 1

Clearly the Aesthetes adore Project Runway. What's not to love with Tim Gunn, the ridiculous challenges, Heidi Klum's syntax, Nick Verreos, Jay McIntyre, Santino... We have been awaiting this latest season with much excitement. We feel like we've been reunited with a long lost love and not surprisingly we have an observation or three about the first episode.

Observations

Victorya's dress was the cutest from a "what people are willing to wear right now" perspective.

Chris and Jack could be interesting wild cards even though they didn't elicit much attention from the panel this week.

Where did Ricky get his amazing collection of hats that should belong to the Village People?

Intensely Hilarious Quotes

"People can be fantastic designers but if you haven't modeled you don't know the first thing" - Carmen

"That flower is so M.O.B." - Michael Kors (because we had been using the phrase Mother of the Bride SO much lately that we were DYING for an acronym).

Predictions

Rami will function as this season's Kara Saun and will repeat the pretty yet pedestrian toga garment ad infinitum.


Simone represents the first of many designers who will be Auf'd in favor of Elisa who has been specifically cast to bring the crazy this season.

We will be watching.

I'm sorry... You out. AQOT's Top Ten Project Runway Losers

Oh, the joy that is Project Runway. From the first designers' intro to the last "Auf Weidersehen" and every "make it work" in between, there hasn't been a television show in a long time that so captivates the Aesthetes. Top Chef was sort of addicting but has become a bore season three (not to mention the moment Trey got booted, it wasn't much of a game anymore). Top Design was fairly pathetic and we quickly defected to HGTV's Design Star instead (and you know how we love David Bromstad). We've heard promising things about Flipping Out but have yet to set the Tivo's. What we're really most excited about is Project Runway's imminent return. Before we delve into yet another round of talent, drama, and crazy/silly challenges (we hear Project Runway is coming back in mid-November), we bring you the official A Question of Taste countdown of former Project Runway contestants who were robbed. Join us as we take a trip down memory lane... pick a buddy, hold hands, and don't get lost... Things could get ugly:

#10 Keith Michael... really, two first names? Here's a hint: the ones that matter seem to make do with one. Maybe that's where you lost it. Or maybe it was the fact that you thought the rules didn't apply to you. That was dumb. Reality competition television is nothing if not crystal clear in their rules. You hit someone, you get kicked off. You lie, cheat and steal, you make for great drama. You look at pattern books, you pack your bags. What we don't understand is that you were talented. You got onto the show by telling it how it was: your past is in men's design, but you honestly think that the same methods can be applied to women's fashion, and you intended to prove it. You tailored a sheet, for god's sake, adding red buttons from a duvet cover for effect, and everyone noticed. Your design for Miss USA, while not the winner, was arguably the one that would be most flattering on everyone. Your design on the episode on which you got kicked off, was finished without you, but was one of the top two designs. You were dumb, but you were gifted... at least you made it onto a top ten list. Hopefully that says something.

Almost-finalist Laura Bennett is an example of a designer with a strong point of view. The judges may or may not have appreciated that she was designing for the 55-85 age group but none could claim that she didn't know who she was. Admittedly, her PR career may have begun with some rocky forays into the world of the fur collar but she pulled herself out of that and subsequently doled out some measured, smart looks. We're not claiming it was necessarily groundbreaking but aside from her propensity to create black feathered swan numbers (which we just heard Laura Bennett is still doing for some unknown reason) we feel she truly found her voice by the end of the competition. We definitely found her final runway show much more palatable than Michael's messy urban jungle nightmare and for this reason, season 3's Laura Bennett comes in at #9 on our countdown.

#8 Alexandra. You're cute, maybe the most adorable of any Project Runway contestant in the history of the show... what's annoying is that your designs were almost as adorable. You had such a clear point of view, and considering you were only, what, 23, that's saying something. Your designs were girly and delicate, but never excessively so. They always made your models look sexy, but not trashy. We can't help but remember the bikini that the judges hated, but we feel like we've seen don the hottest bodies on South Beach. We're hoping that you've gotten a second chance, because your time on Project Runway clearly did not display what you were capable of.

What ever happened to sweet, lovable, cries at the drop of a hat Andrae? Season 2's Andrae may have been the butt of a seriously funny Santino impression of Tim Gunn but he also ranks #7 on our list. Aside from one horrible orange spherical object incident that took place during the Barbie episode, we loved Andrae's use of subtle blue gray tones and the way his fabrics often draped and moved in a highly pleasant way. We were sad when he was sent home over that cute little Hepburnesque dress made out of astroturf in the make clothing out of plants episode (seriously, where do they come up with this stuff?). We liked his garment in this episode better than Santino's and we definitely think he would've put on a better fourth runway show than Kara Janx. We don't know what he's up to now but back then Andrae Gonzolo, was definitely robbed.

Stoic Emmett McCarthy comes in at #6 on our countdown. Having entered the competition with little experience in Women's clothing, we forgave Mr. McCarthy for his opening mistake involving pink. (Don't tell anyone but most girls don't actually like pink anyway). After noting several great choices in future episodes, we truly lamented the fact that he was kicked off for fashioning a pants-less skating costume. Who needs pants anyway? Emmett could have wound up with a shining career as Britney Spears' chief costume designer. While it did irk us that Emmett continually reminded both judges and viewers that he was a Menswear designer by training and had never attempted Women's wear, we think he was robbed in Season 2 and we commend him on his strong, saleable collection recently featured at his NYC boutique EMC2.

#5 Uli...Ulrike... whatever... you got to the final round, and you were SO close to winning. I almost don't really understand why you didn't win, given the consistency of your work, the clarity of your point of view, and the lovely German-ness we thought only Heidi Klum could provide. Most relevant to our interests, however, is the idea that Uli was able to work with prints and not against them. She never made us feel as though she were a fashion school dropout, sewing together arbitrary mismatched pieces of fabric and calling it haute couture, or throwing a leopard-print our way that screamed "Remember me? A few weeks ago when you got lost and wondered into a J.C. Penney? Plus-sized lingerie section? No? Well, let me remind you!" She, instead, created a bit of an edge, and not just a little bit of glamour in piece after piece. Never was her work better displayed than in her finale runway collection, where she hit us with killer piece after piece after piece. She peaked at the right time, but being 2nd can't be enough shine for her... (not to mention her mom. Remember her? How German and adorable was she?!)

We love pretty people, we really do. We love staring at their pretty little faces and basking in the shine of their gleaming hair. We especially love pretty and talented people (seriously, check out our friends) and at that, Season 3's Alison qualifies. Her six episode stint on PR was woefully short and we found all of her garments both whimsical and wearable. We think it supremely unfair that she got eliminated on a challenge to make clothing out of garbage. Who thought that was a good idea? Note to Tim Gunn: Alison's dress did not come close to making her model look fat. It was unflattering because it was made out of trash! Okay, so what if she asked the stylist to fashion a bow made out of HAIR to place atop her models head in her losing challenge, that does not change the fact that Angela "Fleurshon" Kesslar and Vincent "Turns Me On" Libretti survived longer. Alison Kelly ranks #4 in Project Runway ex-contestants who were robbed.

Our pick for #3 is Nick Verreos. Oh Nick. Nick Nick Nick. How you so briefly graced us with your presence, from your tailored muslin madness to your tearful farewell, offending the judges via some "feminine" fabrics on Daniel V., while you successfully modeled Chloe's pink-satin backed vest... Your only win was arguably your tackiest. You had an eye for design and style, which apparently can only be appreciated by the west coast aesthetes. Who could forget your party dress, designed for Nicki Hilton, which could've won if elegance was the name of the game. Tara rocked the crap out of that outfit, and probably would've made a paper bag look stunning. We still hate Zulema for taking Tara away from you, arguably messing up your concentration, (although major points go to you for dragging that model out of gumby-legged limbo with your "Mykonos" piece) but we know you're destined for fashion-greatness... maybe just not on Bravo TV.

(Oh, and Nick, if it's any consolation, we actually went to Zulema's Spring 2007 show. All the time in the world couldn't have helped with her unfinished seams and messy tailoring... I mean, not even the crappy resolution on my camera phone could hide what a mess her work was. So whatev, you win.)

Nora Caliguri from Season 1, dismissed after only 5 short episodes, was most definitely robbed. Her clothes were just punk rock enough while still amazingly well constructed. We find it incredibly painful that she was eliminated on the wedding dress episode. First of all, it wasn't that bad and second, she was truly following her clients wishes. She was between a rock and a hard place. Design a dress more towards Nora's rock n' roll design sensibility and face criticism for not listening to client wishes on the most important day of her life or give the woman the poufy skirt she's always dreamed of and call it a day. I think we all know what the right decision is here. Nora Caliguri is number #2 on our list.


#1 Okay, being from the midwest gives one (in this case, us) a bit of perspective... High fashion isn't for everyone; by that, I mean that some people understand high fashion even less than they can afford it. However, looking fantastic in what appears to be an expensive outfit is something that can be translated to absolutely everyone, and I think Kayne did his part in helping a special niche: beauty queens who naively think they know how to look good and the mothers who are living vicariously through them. As you may or may not know, Kayne owns a dress shop, for which he designs and makes dresses that are prom n' pageant appropriate. He designs for his market, but his market does not design for him. Let's respect that in Oklahoma, he's not exactly a kick-step-do-si-do away from the leading industry centers, but he has worked very hard and effectively, for lack of a better phrase, to make it work.

Case in point: check out this little number... Disregarding what the judges may have said (while, of course, relaying all appropriate respect to the Kors-Garcia-Klum triumverate), this answer to the Paris couture challenge was everything it was supposed to be: detailed, precise, handworked, and a piece of art. The way the fabric moved made the bottom of the dress almost shimmer, emulating the exceptionally flattering bodice piece, was nothing if not dreamlike, and the back of the dress, with the satin ribbon tie, allowed the fitting of the dress to be easily matched perfectly to the model's specifications.

Kayne shows us that even the most unexpected individual may have great talent, if only given the proper venue via which to express themselves without restraint... and this, with no hesitation, inspires us to name Kayne our #1 PR Loser. (Of course, this all being said... Kayne, babe, pumpkin, can we talk about that blingy-name-belt? You work it with confidence, but the sh*t is tacky. Work it out. Thanks.)

So... to all you Season 4 Project Runway contestants: Auf Wiedersehen. We'll be watching.

Plaid Love

I agree with Phat Tony on just about everything hence the reason it is very satisfying to watch Project Runway together. Yes, we think Nick Verreos was robbed in Season 2 too, thank you very much. Not surprisingly, I also despise Madras. However, I do love plaid. Oh the many connotations of this fabric. From "Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain" innocent country to "Jeremy spoke in class today" grunge rock we've seen this fabric over and over. Plaid may now be coming into its renaissance moment. I have seen brilliant interpretations of the modern preppy especially in new york city. Check out this photo by the Sartorialist

This plaid, especially when worn in the summer, has a lovely, unassuming look about it. It's new and fresh and we really do see a lot of folks working this look quite well. Lest you think we are allowing you to run free however, here are the rules.

- Shirts or dresses only. Don't make us accuse you of wearing pajama pants during the day (that means you Britney Spears). Dresses are ok but consider plaid skirts for catholic school girls only.

- No Madras. We can't stress this enough (see below). It's ugly and don't even be tempted into it. Stick to one base color of plaid

- We like the bigger plaids. While the teeny tiny checks are ok in a short sleeve button down software engineer kind of way, we're finding that the edgier guys are rocking the larger, less busy prints.

- Take advantage of this unexpected summertime look. Find some plaid in a light-weight fabric. Enjoy, we might be sick of it by the time fall rolls around.

Phat Tony Addendum: Agreed, Bets. As far as the teeny-tiny checks, those are also okay in a nicely-tailored long-sleeve dress shirt, or on a tie made in a quality fabric. However, it should be paired with a bolder pattern or an impeccably styled suit to up the class. I also have some related commentary on the impending comeback of flannel, but that's for another posting entirely... Get ready.

The Long & The Short of it...

Ah, the world of shorts. Ever since the short pant became common in adult wear in the United States in the early 20th century, we have been subjected to a barrage of fashion mishaps (need I say more than the men's cutoff?). Now that it's full-on summertime, we thought we'd tackle the issue.

Men:
The world of men's shorts has recently expanded to include styles from the past three decades... we've been seeing the short shorts, longer shorts, wider shorts, extremely tailored shorts... Men around the world now apparently have options. But unfortunately, such spectrum of choices creates a single outcome... lots of bad fashion choices. Not to worry, though, we're here to set you straight...

Let's start simple:

If you are wearing a bike short, you'd best be riding a bike. The rules for boardshorts are broader but just as strict (must be within 50 miles from coastline). And how about those short shorts? If you're not running or in the midst of some other strenuous activity, don't wear them. No one wants to see that much of your legs, sorry. A word on pants that zip off into shorts…suck it up and deal with the temperature change girly man, and personally, any clothing company that has continued to allow such design mistakes to be made needs to have a talking-to. Do we need to remind you of Rob from Project Runway, Season One, and his march into fashion oblivion via the Post Office challenge? I would hope not. Carpenter Shorts: A.C. Slater called and he wants his wardrobe back.

Women:
There are absolutely some people out there that look good in daisy duke's (i.e. anyone who was cast in any legitimate production of the Dukes of Hazard) but we say nay on the general taste front for this garment.

Skorts: one hundred percent useless item of clothing -- and, as an extremely relevant aside, we feel that "brunch" and "Brangelina" are the only acceptable portmanteaux. Wearing a skort is as ineffectual at creating a fashionable look as using a Taco Bell "spork" in delving into a filet mignon.

Culottes, Lederhosen, Pleated Chino Shorts: no, no, and shudder to think.

The style for women that I love right now is a loose short hitting at mid-thigh.


This look is modern, flattering and very fresh looking. Word of caution: This is a great look dressed up but will cause you to look like a child if you decide to dumb it down to t-shirt and sneakers. For the timid: try the Bermuda shorts hitting just above the knee. Counter-intuitively, the most slimming options taper towards the knee.

Pintuck!

We are in love with pintucks.

Pintucks, while not qualifying as an all-out embellishment (see Angela Keslar "fleurshons" -- Project Runway, Season 3), give the hint of detail to a garment. They are not as Sienna Miller-boho as embroidery or as Britney Spears-scary as sequins. They add the perfect element of structure to a garment while retaining softness. Pintucks are lady-like and sophisticated without being old before their time (see Andrea Zuckerman, Beverly Hills 90210, Seasons 1-10). Although somewhat associated with Victorian fashion, pintucks are modern in the sense of 3.1 Philip Lim simple femininity or Chloe downtown cool. Favored applications generally center around sleeve or bib details on tops or dresses. I'm not exactly opposed to the application of pintucks on, say, a skirt or pant, I just rarely see it done correctly. The line between sweet and frumpy is blurry at best.

The Boho-Rocker-Artist-take-a-deep-breath-and-pout look can be amazing (thank you, Angela Montenegro), but please, use caution... think structured and clean. Good luck.