Breaking Down the Button Down

While NYC might be a mecca of cutting edge fashion, it can be shocking how some New Yorkers make absurdly plain choices.  This is never as apparent as when one enters one of the many pseudo-trendy bars or lounges and notices the number of low quality button downs... Apparently, many men feel they must sport this basic in order to achieve the look demanded of them by impressively ambiguous dress codes.  While quite a few guys out there aren't guilty of this (good job, kids), far too many fall victim to their own ignorance, or perhaps they allow themselves to be far too cavalier when it comes to this wardrobe staple.

While the following may be more arbitrary than definitive, we'd like to separate the world of button down analysis into general aesthetic categories... Let's start with what seems to be the hot look this season...

(1)  Plaids (or any other sometimes abrasive patterning)

Bets and I been saying this for the past year... plaids and flannels (in shirt form) are on their way back.  True, they're a cyclical sort of textile, wafting in and out of the fashion world's sensibilities.  The great thing about these styles of button-down shirts is that you don't necessarily have to worry about high-end fashion in order to rock it effectively.  This look is more about ease and comfort rather than style, but luckily handles all needs.

(2)  Classic White (the same rules apply to solid colors in general)

Now I know what some guys think... there isn't much difference between one white button-down and the next.  However, because it's such a basic, there's an incredible variety out there of these basic whites.  This also means that what is appropriate for the workplace isn't necessarily ideal for a night out.  While you might jump to a Banana Republic white dress shirt for the office, it's advisable to think more tailored or interesting designs for when night falls.  Now, it's not just a matter of upgrading the shirt to, say, a slimming Charles Tyrwhit.  One of our friends opened our eyes to Trovata and the simple yet effective details that it provides their men's whites.  The quality of fabric also plays a large role... while it's nice to know that you're rocking a beater underneath that crisp white shirt, no one needs to see the outline of the entire thing through your shirt.

(3) Miscellaneous Detailing

The most obvious differences one can determine are when a shirt has added detail... it could just be what looks like someone scribbled on the shirt via a sewing machine... or it could be ornate embroidery of any design.  Now don't get confused... just because a shirt (or anything else, really) has that little something extra does not mean it's a good thing.  Designers have found it far to easy to keep adding more and more, how should we say, wiggity wack trim, but it's up to us, the consumers, to separate the proverbial wheat from the chaff.  Examples: good - simple detailing on the reverse side of the cuffs, creating a pleasant contrast when the sleeves are rolled up.  bad - embroidery and stamps resembling mallards.  Hideous.

Celebrity Time Machine: Umbrella Remix Edition

There had been something bothering us about Posh Spice-Beckham lately. We couldn't quite put our finger on it and only just realized the distinct truth that Spice-Beckham has stolen Rihanna's fashion soul.



Frightening.

Ode To Simplicity

Light gray belted t-shirt dress:



Jeans, v-neck, blazer:We love the simplicity.

Question of the Day: Why Wasn't Our Prom Dress This Awesome

And as a follow up why is Joy Bryant wearing a corsage on the red carpet?

Redacted v.2.0

We may have made a joke or three about the fact that while it's a shame that people are speculating over Keira Knightley's weight and/or potential anorexia, at least she is showing solid fashion sense.


Right. Well, perhaps it's time to take the "tablecloth" out of the wardrobe and have ourselves a little cheeseburger, no?

Dear Stylist: We're Pucci'd Out

Dear Stylist,

Christina Aguilera is wearing way to much Pucci lately. It's just so very Carmela Soprano at a cocktail party.


To avoid looking like the very rare yet widely available on ebay for $7.99 Christina Aguilera Barbie, we suggest limiting the Pucci wardrobe to scarves and headbands only please.

Thank you.

Yours truly,
The Aesthetes

Question of the Day: Is Heidi Klum Wearing Jazz Shoes

Um. Yeah. We're going to go ahead and look in other direction.

Michelle Williams: Brilliant on the Red Carpet

We've always thought Michelle Williams has been brilliant from the start in her red carpet choices. We offer you a brief journey back in time of some of our favorite highlights.

The 80s Look Great on Ashley Olsen

We love the 80s.

With the Cosby Show, Alex P. Keaton and Miss Jackson (if you're nasty), the cultural riches from this decade of our youth are endless (shout out to Taylor Dane, Rick Astley and Tony Toni Tone).

What we're not loving is every hipster wannabe embracing the fashion of the decade like Milli Vanilli clutching feverishly to their Grammy (that means you Vanessa from Gossip Girl). Yet once again, the enigma that is the Olsen twins strikes again and this time it's Ash.




Domo arigato Mr. Robato, the 80s look great on Ashley Olsen.

Denise Richards: Mallrat

Why is Denise Richards wearing so many bad mall outfits lately? This phenomenon seems to have started around the debut of her new reality show Denise Richards: It's Complicated (yes, we're admitting to watching if only to bathe in her deep, authentic, midwestern accent).

Apparently she picked up a crocheted dress at JC Penney, matched it up with a jacket from Wilson's Leather, took a break at Wetzels Pretzels before scooping up a dress at Rave and a hat at Delia's right before stopping by Spencer's Gifts and Things Remembered to get that perfect, personalized, engraved gift she'd been looking for.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Crossroads

We like to pretend we don't see bad chick flicks. We like to pretend that we didn't find ourselves in the theater in opening night of Crossroads or that we aren't on pins and needles for the premiere of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. But we have to admit, if nothing else, chick flicks are often fertile ground for future starlets to hone their skills, talent, and fashion sense. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants sprouted some of our favorites.

America Ferrera (SoTP/Ugly Betty)


Alexis Bledel (SoTP/Gilmore Girls/Sin City)


Phat Tony has spent years unabashedly loving the wonder that is Alexis Bledel. Of course, this was, in every possible way, limited to Gilmore Girls, a fading, but true hybrid of ABC Family and Family Guy (literally... Daniel Palladino was a writer and producer for both)


Blake Lively (SoTP/Gossip Girl)

A Question of Taste: Nature vs. Nurture

Apparently an Aesthete is born at an early age. Even back in the days of Smurfs and Muppet Babies, Betsy and Phat Tony had distinct fashion points of view. Sadly, other, differing opinions were often foisted upon us by meddling parents. We remember clearly the irritation when the offending items were introduced into our wardrobes. For Phat Tony it was the dreaded cardigan while Betsy feared the floral dress.


While there's nothing inherently evil about said garments we nonetheless had violently negative reactions to them. To this day, neither of us can stomach either of these trends which have recently become a part of mainstream adult wardrobes.


As you can see fair reader, there's nothing that horribly offensive about either item. Aside from the danger of looking like Mr. Rogers when wearing a male cardigan or like a librarian in a floral dress, most laypeople can pull off wearing both. For us however, we're just not going there. We're too busy playing Mario Kart and Zelda anyway.

Jump Around

Have you ever thought to yourself, sweet jesus, this trend has gone nuts (think back to capris circa 1998, or poncho's circa 2002). Enter jumpsuits. I mean, they're EVERYWHERE.


We've even seen people even wearing them. Regular people who can't under any circumstances pull them off. People are also blogging about them and not in an entirely sarcastic way.

We can't help thinking, where is the tipping point? Where do we cross the line from ridiculousness into absurdity. Well friends, we think we've found it.

A pastel, floral, lace trimmed, skintight jumpsuit. Just when you think fashion can't go any more wrong. Thank you Chloe Sevigny.

Question of the Day: Is Rumer Willis Just Trying to Hurt Me?

Because, we get rolling out of bed and down the street for a much needed latte. We get sweatpants, hoodies, hats, and flip-flops, no problem. But when you wear zebra printed leggings. We KNOW you did that on purpose.

Redacted

We may have poked a wee bit of fun of the Prada Spring 08 line of calf length floral skirts.

Then we saw this:


We'd like to offer our sincerest apologize to the gods of Italian fashion. We get it now.

How To Wear Plunging Necklines

There are many items of clothing that are just South of flattering (ie: Alicia Keys Jumpsuit). The plunging neckline seems to be one of them. Note carefully Cynthia Nixon (second from right) and then Charlize Theron.



Why does the Charlize Theron version work for us and the Cynthia Nixon version not? A few observations:

1. The bold purple works to lend a lighter note to the look because serious, and this dress is cut down to the navel, don't really go together.

2. Ms. Nixon's dress is floor length. (See above re: seriousness)

3. As loath as we are to endorse ruffles, in this case, it draws the eye up and prevents the wearer from looking a bit, well, saggy.

We don't pretend to have the power to stop all of humanity from making bad fashion choices (crocs, et al) but should you happen to choose to journey down this path of plunging necklines, just remember, there are rules and you've been warned.

Question of the Day: Is Janet Jackson Starting her Own Religion?

If so, sign us up. Way better soundtrack than Kaballah.

Dear Stylist: Are Those Dance Tights?

Dear Stylist,

We recall the halcyon days at the McDowell School of Dance with a certain reverie to be sure. It is as if just yesterday we were bombershay and brush stepping around the tap studio with unbridled glee. I mean, we were 9, a time where one is highly prone to unbridled glee as well as embarrassing enthusiasm. It is also with some embarrassment that we recall our favored post dance class outfits. Well, at least one of us does. While Phat Tony could be found wearing a sensible ensemble of cropped sweats, denim jacket and legwarmers* (it was the 80s), I was given to wearing shiny dance tights, a short skirt and a beret of choice (sometimes with puffy paint laden scrunchie, sometimes without).


Oh....awkward, um, hi Beyonce, great music. We certainly rock out to Upgrade U at almost every workout, and we've been practicing our shuffle, shuffle, hair toss, in case we have to perform with you at the next Grammy's (we've since, in turn, assumed that the crawl-crawl-hair toss move circa Crazy in Love is SO over). We've just been a little confused re: the outfits lately. Clearly, you have the option of looking like this.

Yet often you choose to outfit yourself like Coco from Fame. I mean, are you always on your way to rehearsal?


And you and your new husband Mr. Carter clean up quite nicely.


Yet, on TRL it's one big denim on denim monstrosity.


Maybe we do get it. Maybe you're just that big of a star and you are so bored that you are keeping us guessing on purpose. Sort of like the magic spell that Brangelina has pulled on the public, are we pregnant, are we not, are we going to deliver our next child on the international space station.

Well in that case, Shazam!


Yours truly,
The Aesthetes

* See also Phat Tony's upcoming book of short stories "Bitch Tore My Leotard."

My So-Called Fashion Sense

It's official. The 90s are back and we're not the only ones who have noticed.

You think you can hide out there Mr. & Ms. General Public? We see you in your floral prints, your little backpacks, belted cardigans and your chunky shoes.

We have a prediction for you, babydoll dresses, reddish-brown lipstick and rollerblading will soon seem like a great idea.

Oh and also, you will be totally in love with Jordan Catalano. And you will almost touch his shoulder during a pop quiz.

Kris Kross will make you Jump Jump

Phat Tony: Hey Gurrrrl.
Betsy: what's happening?
PT: Absolutely everything. I was just standing in line at Starbucks waiting for my tall, non-fat, extra-caramel, caramel macchiato when I realized that women have been wearing a lot of jumpers lately.
B: jumpers like an Anglophile's sweater or jumpers like when we were 5?
PT: Jumpers like when we were 5.
PT: I mean granted, most of them have worn it under a suit jacket in some sort of semblance of professional-wear but I just keep thinking why is this necessary? I mean, how are you comfortable removing that jacket when you have something like THAT underneath. I mean, regardless of the color of the garment it skews towards the juvenile.
B: Perhaps something like this?
PT: Haha, maybe not entirely that bad but seriously not good either.
B: yeah, I don't really get jumpers, I mean, they got semi-trendy for 5 minutes 3 years ago and the fact that people are still wearing them is really pathetic
PT: True that.