Ode To Simplicity

Light gray belted t-shirt dress:



Jeans, v-neck, blazer:We love the simplicity.

The 80s Look Great on Ashley Olsen

We love the 80s.

With the Cosby Show, Alex P. Keaton and Miss Jackson (if you're nasty), the cultural riches from this decade of our youth are endless (shout out to Taylor Dane, Rick Astley and Tony Toni Tone).

What we're not loving is every hipster wannabe embracing the fashion of the decade like Milli Vanilli clutching feverishly to their Grammy (that means you Vanessa from Gossip Girl). Yet once again, the enigma that is the Olsen twins strikes again and this time it's Ash.




Domo arigato Mr. Robato, the 80s look great on Ashley Olsen.

Dear Stylist: Get Thee Some Pants

Dear Stylist,

We never thought we'd have to say this but some articles of clothing bear a certain necessity. Take pants for example. Perhaps if you're an Olsen twin you can get away with belting a huge t-shirt, throwing on 80 bangles and calling it a day but if you're not an alien life form, you might want to take a page out of the playbook of the more pedestrian among us. Top + pants = face the world. Don't get me wrong, we're not saying no to dresses here, we LOVE dresses but dresses fall under the umbrella of the onesie. The rules, friends, are the same as when you were 2. Onesies are acceptable on their own, sweaters, dear stylist, do not qualify.



Yours truly,

The Aesthetes

Weighing in: Ethno-scarves

The pseudo-ethnic print scarf has taken over...Manhattan at least. Can anyone confirm or deny its use in other locations, we're curious? Regardless, whether we like it or not, it's this year's pashmina and it looks like it's going to be around at least for a season. We knew something was up when the Keffiyeh was the new hot item this summer and we've struggled with the concept of women running around the city wearing what has looked to us, rather like a babushka. We've changed our minds recently having seen it worn the right way exactly twice. Once by a very stylish close friend.


And once by our favorite twin.


We're not even going to bother enumerating the rules this time. We just leave you with the notion that if you're wondering if the word babushka applies to you...step away from the scarf. Thank you.

Sorry Ash, But We've Already Picked Our Favorite Twin

Hi, Mary Kate? So remember when we poked fun at a couple of your key fashion choices? We also may have made one or two thin jokes? Yeah...um...awkward...because deep down we really sort of love you.

There are very few true living fashion icons out there. Discounting those who dress themselves with the help of a capable stylist and those who put themselves together quite nicely but without any risk-taking, there are only one or two people worth mentioning. Kate Moss comes to mind as she embodies a palpable "signature style" copied by celebrities, regular folks and most recently pumped out to the masses in the form of Kate Moss by Topshop. We also have recently taken notice of Carine Roitfeld (check out Angie's profile of her at My Fashion Life). Roitfeld recently made headlines with this crazy futuristic coat:


Is it a bit strange? Yes. Is it also brilliant? We think so.

Mary Kate Olsen is the only American that we find both fascinating and disturbing enough to capture our attention to the same level as the aforementioned women. Do we feel conflicted about her sometimes? Definitely. While MK's fashion tastes almost always tend to be un peu difficile to stomach for the masses, even we questioned her sojourn into "Derelicte" dressing during her brief stint in higher education.

Since then however, we find her choices just interesting enough.

We love the red carpet vintage looks.

The menswear looks


The all black popped with something unexpected look


Finally, our personal favorite, the "I can pile on a whole heap of crazy and still look good look"


We read recently that Mary Kate's fashion role models are almost always men because they dress solely for themselves. That statement really resonated with us because it is not to say that you have given up fashion and aesthetic ideals, it is just that you are working solely for your own opinions and have permanently disconnected from the reigning fashion media. She's out there but she's also fashion forward in a real sense and we can't help admiring that.

The Skin-ny

It seems as if leather has popped up as a trend these days. Clearly we’re far beyond the leather jacket, which though oft misused, is nonetheless an American staple. We’re not just talking about the fits like a glove and still nonexistent pair of leather pants we’ve coveted since we were 15 and have yet to discover in actual existence. We’re talking leather skirts (the Olsen twins strike again)


and several leather dresses we’ve seen at the "cheap & chic "chains like Zara and H&M.


On preliminary examination, this trend will be fleeting with high dry cleaning bills and a lack of breathability. We’re also a bit concerned that this whole faux-rocker thing has gone a bit too far (penchants for guitar hero notwithstanding). Faux-rocker to the Aesthetes is Ashlee Simpson, Uncle Jesse from Full House, and Justin Bobby. Actually nothing says faux rocker better than Justin Bobby in a full-on signature Justin Bobby beanie.

Faux Royalty Looks Great On Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Before The Tudors, Mr. Rhys Meyers (Mr. Meyers? Mr. J.R. Meyers? Eh, let's go with J.R.) had amassed an impressive performance CV... but other than Velvet Goldmine and Bend It Like Beckham, we were hard-pressed to sing the appropriately specified praises of this actor. Then came The Tudors, and everything changed. His face was instantly recognizable, a quality not lost on the fashion industry, not to mention every postered surface in New York City.



We don't know about you, but in the past, J.R. seemed a bit manorexic. While the gaunt and vapid thing may have temporarily worked for Kate Moss and Mary Kate, it never worked for you. Your recent project didn't necessarily force burgers down your throat, but it created a context for the body type that was less stylish, more skeletal. One thing the Tudors were good at... staying warm with layers... and if putting a layer of linen under a layer of cotton under a layer of animal skin under a layer of crushed velvet is what works for you, then amen. You don't have the weight issue that Henry VIII is chronicled in paintings as having, and luckily, it doesn't seem like you have a sweating issue.

So while your past is a bit gaussian blur for us, we're thrilled that a career move finally matched the one look you have. If pseudo-oppressive heirarchies and fashion-forward Renaissance-wear is your thing, that's just fine with us because, J.R., faux royalty looks great on you.

Dear Stylist: Roadkill Edition

Dear Stylist,

When will you fail to amaze us with your questionable choices? We realize that Kate Bosworth and Zhang Ziyi recently attended some sort of soiree in China and perhaps there are some deviating cultural norms at play here but seriously, what is that Chinchilla? Did you not notice that Ms. Ziyi looks like she's actually holding the dead animal she just skinned to fashion this garment? Ms. Bosworth looks like a late edition Cruella De Vil and if one wants to model themselves after a Disney character, we suggest Esmeralda, she really knew how to work the peasant blouse trend.

We're not really politically anti-fur here, we just think it looks gross 9 out of 10 times. Take for example Britney Spears. Does she not look like she skinned her little dog Bit-Bit and is wearing her as a shrug.


Perhaps there's ways to wear fur, in fact, there are certain people who may be able pull it off:

1. Sarah Jessica Parker circa SATC seasons 1 and 2 because there was a time when she could pull off that sense of whimsical risk taking.

2. Nicole Kidman because she's just regal and Nordic-looking enough to accessorize a fur coat with a nice viking helmet.

3. Mary Kate Olsen because the poor little thing looks just about cold enough to drape anything over her bony little shoulders.

Aside from the above mentioned we ask you to please refrain from this growing and disturbing use of fur.

Yours truly,

The Aesthetes

Baby Weight Looks Great on Nicole Richie

No matter what the tabloids say this particular month, it seems like there is ALWAYS a celebrity that could direly use some help from a pre-Gilmore Girls peak "Save the Children" Sally Struthers. Ahem, Mary Kate, you're still invited to our barbecue and Phat Tony just threw your double cheeseburger on the grill.

Its should come as no surprise then that we avoided all guilty pleasure media for the months surrounding the peak of Nicole Richie's "I don't have an eating disorder" problem.

I mean, bikini bottoms should not be baggy, that's so gross and it's enough to send us straight for a big steaming pot of fettuccine alfredo and let's just say we don't really need that kind of encouragement. But lately, thanks to Joel Madden weaving his magic spell of impregnation, our little Ms. Richie looks fabulous.


I think I see muscle tone and those are definitely curves. Might she even be succumbing to a hint of a smile?


We're not really sure how she's going to keep this up post birth unless she's already purchased her tickets to the Britney Spears "how to become the physical embodiment of Cheetos" seminar. Needless to say we're a little concerned but for now Nicole Richie, its time for seconds because baby weight looks great on you.

Weighing in: Colored Denim

A quick glance at the Fall 2007 ready to wear shows confirms that we should look forward to bright saturated colors coming our way next season. We won't mind seeing it most often in Womenswear in dresses, tops, shoes, and handbags, in that order. What we're not too thrilled about, is seeing a lot of bright colored denim.

We're not pretending that Jessica Alba is anything but gaunt and therefore can flippantly disregard a few of our fashion missives but for the average woman (Phat Tony: "Yeah, I thought that even her presence couldn't overcome the wackness of her movie choices, but please note that I'll still DVR "Honey" whenever it's on... Jessica Alba might be able to do whatever she wants."), we're issuing a strong caution on this look. Unfortunate but true, there are just certain details about one's legs that one may not want highlighted. Consider these jeans a Bic highlighter for your flaws. (PT: "A huge Bic highlighter with those attached Post-It flag dispensers that allow the owner to make notes next to what's been highlighted. Yes, the jeans will tell us all that. And no, we never wanted to know.")

And then there's this:


We're not happy that Aly and AJ, the poor man's Mary Kate Ashley Olsen (hereby referred to as Al J), are weighing on the collective conscious, but we're downright apoplectic over the fact that they are currently bringing their bad fashion on a nationwide tour. (PT: "Having been on a nationwide tour myself, I know there's no place for bad fashion. You make bad fashion choices, and then you end up with wrinkled sateen tops, drawstring pants that are a little too tight right there, and a little too bulky right over here, knock-off Birkenstocks, and your blonde hair turning green from the Motel-8 jacuzzi. The combined efforts of Tim Gunn and Sally Hershberger would not be able to dig you out of that tacky, florescent bulb-lit hole. And it'll all be your fault. Just saying.)

You may have guessed that we're not thrilled about the vest (PT: "Right?!") and we're still too angry to discuss Alicia Keys' wide-leg, high waisted, jumpsuit (PT: "Oh Alicia... how far you may have fah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-len"... wow, my voice sounded so good just then), but there's oh so much else that's wrong here. Al J has firstly decided to violate the code of women, twin or otherwise: thou shalt not wear the same shoes. Secondly, we just got a text message from Alex P Keaton politely requesting his tie back. Lastly, those bright coral jeans make you look fat Al J and we need you and your minions of teen fans to stop it. Right now.

Phat Tony Addendum: Okay, I may not have Betsy's tact when it comes to colored denim. I'm also not a woman, and maybe my personal connection to denim isn't as... developed? Regardless, when thinking colored denim... unless you're the type of girl to whom random strangers always say, "Whoa, those bright colors look ridiculously amazing with your skin tone," then it's really never pleasant (for me, at least) for you to wear the denim a la Crayola. And at the end of the day, that's a trend that, when it's over, it'll be O-V-E-R. No trying to save that crap for when it comes back into style... we won't want to see it then, either.

My Name is Gladiator

Sadly, we're feeling all the tell-tale signs that we're coming to the end of summer. As we welcome cable-knit, hot cider, and college football, we happily say goodbye to one of summer's enduring and oft-misused trends: the gladiator sandal. Fear not, we will not be ranting about the look as a whole. Rather, as per usual, we'll be delving into the subtleties of its use. The gladiator sandal was more than passable this season in either a neutral or maybe a metallic. They looked great with jeans or a flowy skirt. The concept began to become a little dodgy if you will around the time the Olsen twins got a hold of it.

Hey Mary Kate, that little black dress is working, and not too many people can rock the Prada Cousin It bag... so hats off to you! But... umm... can we talk about the footwear? Those shoes are a little ridiculous and very costumey: two things which are only acceptable under a very (Phat Tony: "VERY") special set of circumstances. If you insist on wearing the full-leg gladiator sandals, we insist you go all out and pair them with a toga. We're not kidding, boldness and irony go hand in hand in fashion. Also, would you like a sip of our milkshake? (Phat Tony: "C'mon MK, it tastes like Christmas!") No? Well then would you mind having a chat with your sister about this?


Oh Ash, there's so much you do right. We really adore that yellow skirt and we think you're right on track with that charcoal blazer. However, whoever viciously attacked your patent knee high boots with pruning shears must be brought to justice and just say the word and we'll be happy to organize a posse and hunt he/she down vigilante style.

You're welcome.

Phat Tony Addendum: You know, Bets and I have always agreed that one can pull off almost anything, basically, if you're doing it confidently and with a style of your own. Confidence might just be the best accessory... and you, Mary Kate, I've got no doubt you've got confidence by the LV duffel-load (although I really think you could use this... no judgment, of course)... but no amount of confidence will help with gladiator sandals. We don't need to see those sandals, only to instantly become entranced by that optical illusion graph-like pattern all over your calves. Of course, maybe it's fun for you to see the white squares magically appearing wherever the black lines cross. I mean, sure, magic can be fun. Ask J.K. Rowling. Regardless, for your entertainment...