Celebrity Time Machine: Umbrella Remix Edition

There had been something bothering us about Posh Spice-Beckham lately. We couldn't quite put our finger on it and only just realized the distinct truth that Spice-Beckham has stolen Rihanna's fashion soul.



Frightening.

Dear Stylist: Old Spice Edition

Dear Stylist,

We have no shame over our love of pop music. In fact, our cries of "gimme more gimme gimme gimme" were barely heard over the din of the last VMAs. There even were 10 minutes in the 90s where we would've been happy to "tell you what I want what I really really want." Despite the bad lyrics (2 become 1?) and the even worse fashion,

here we sit a solid ten years post the Spice's rise to fame and Sporty, Scary, Baby, Ginger and Posh are still (somewhat) in the public eye. Amazingly, and thanks to you stylist, there has been no respite from the bad fashion.

We do admit that two of the five women may have come out slightly ahead of the errant spice situation. Emma Bunton aka Baby Spice has adopted a Twiggy as ANTM judge look for which we do not find fault.


And despite the Crazy-Catwoman leather jumpsuit motif, we applaud Geri Halliwell (Ginger) for the impeccable hair and makeup.


Mel C's colored denim gaffe brings her to about even with the old days,


which leaves the real task of spreading the crazy falling squarely on the shoulders of Melanie (Scary) Brown and Victoria (Posh) Beckham.

Luckily these two special ladies do not disappoint. Mel B may have recently won her paternity suit against Eddie Murphy but has since violated several state and local statutes regarding the misuse of animal print.

Have we learned nothing from Ms. Spears? Do not, I repeat do NOT get photographed in or around the bathroom.


Despite Victoria Beckham's short lived reality show and current clothing line, there is still a bit of Eau d'Irrelevance perfuming the air around her. Not to mention our strong suspicion that she's dressing like Captain Kangaroo on purpose.


Zig-a-zig-huh?

Yours truly,
The Aesthetes

Crazy Looks Great On Katie Holmes

Regardless of what we think about Tom Cruise, Scientology, jumping on furniture, and the ensuing frenzy surrounding the TomKat phenomena, we have to admit, Katie Holmes has really pulled herself together lately.


Back in the days of Joey Potter, she was a wide eyed chubby cheeked girl from Toledo. Now she's a slimmed-down Posh Spice be-haircuted version of her former self with an enviable handbag collection. Although this all happened under vicious media scrutiny, it seemed to have taken place faster than we can say "Chris Klein who?" All of the sudden she looks grown-up and classy in an old school movie star sort of way.


Barring a few missteps here or there (What did we tell you about making us accuse you of wearing pajama pants during the day?)


Well played Katie Holmes, go ahead and get on with your Thetan-busting ways. Crazy looks great on you.