How To Wear Plunging Necklines

There are many items of clothing that are just South of flattering (ie: Alicia Keys Jumpsuit). The plunging neckline seems to be one of them. Note carefully Cynthia Nixon (second from right) and then Charlize Theron.



Why does the Charlize Theron version work for us and the Cynthia Nixon version not? A few observations:

1. The bold purple works to lend a lighter note to the look because serious, and this dress is cut down to the navel, don't really go together.

2. Ms. Nixon's dress is floor length. (See above re: seriousness)

3. As loath as we are to endorse ruffles, in this case, it draws the eye up and prevents the wearer from looking a bit, well, saggy.

We don't pretend to have the power to stop all of humanity from making bad fashion choices (crocs, et al) but should you happen to choose to journey down this path of plunging necklines, just remember, there are rules and you've been warned.

Brevity is the Soul of Wit...

... and sometimes one has to speak fewer words to get a point across in the first place. Let's try it out here.

Holidays have socially-inherent color schemes by which, unless requested by the host or hostess, you are not required to abide when attending a holiday soiree. Even more to the point? Red does not automatically look good on just everyone... and if you're not sure about your own jaunts into the land of cherry, tomato and ruby, don't put on that oversized red puffy sweater!



There is no holiday festive enough to excuse our bleeding eyes.

Many thanks from the establishment, and to those for whom this applies, "Merry Christmas, everyone!"

C is for Cookie

Who could resist a good batch of cookies? Certainly not us we wholeheartedly assure you. We thought, befitting to the holiday spirit, that we might just share two of our favorite recipes.

The first is a crispy chocolate chocolate chip called "Korova Cookies" from a cookbook specializing in Parisian pastries. We find them just a bit more sophisticated than the classic chocolate chip and the perfect accompaniment to an afternoon cappuccino.

The second, a classic ginger molasses variety, is from a friend's mother we'll refer to as Mrs. Jetson and that we have taken the liberty to half because we think the quantities she suggested were meant to feed her entire small midwestern town.

Korova Cookies

1 1/4 cups flour
1/3 cups Dutch process cocoa (or just unsweetened cocoa)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 stick plus 3 tbsp unsalted butter (room temperature)
2/3 cups packed light brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
5 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped into chip-size bits

Sift the flour, cocoa and baking soda together. Cream the butter either by hand or in the mixer and then add both sugars and vanilla and beat for another minute or two. Mix in the dry ingredients only until incorporated and the dough is crumbly. Toss in the chocolate pieces and mix only to incorporate. Try not to handle the dough too much once the flour is mixed in.

Turn the dough out onto a smooth work surface, divide in half and, working with one half at a time, shape the dough into a log about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Wrap the logs in plastic wrap and chill them for at least 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 350 and on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper bake one sheet at a time for 12 minutes. Please note: These cookies are drier than most which is part of their novelty. Don't worry if they look like they aren't done when you remove them from the oven and make sure to cool them on a wire rack until they are close to room temperature.

Ginger Molasses

Cream:
1/2 lb butter
1/4 tbsp salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 medium sized eggs
3/8 cup molasses (add 1/4 cup water)

Sift:
3 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tbsp baking soda
1/2 tbsp cinnamon
3/4 tbsp ground cloves
1/2 tbsp ground ginger

Mix wet and dry ingredients together. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Roll dough into walnut sized balls, roll the balls in some sugar (just sprinkle some on a plate) think of it like salting a margarita glass...except...not really. Bake at 350 for about 13-15 minutes and enjoy.

The Secretary Blouse

It's late October and we're knee deep into the season of pumpkins, cider donuts and football but does anyone else feel like it's the endless summer? Not that we're complaining, it's just that every time we try to wear our puffy vests we find ourselves breaking a sweat and we LOVE our puffy vests.

If you're one for fashion magazines, surely you've noticed that editors are screaming about the "secretary" trend for fall. Admittedly, we support the return of lady-like in women's fashion, for example we've always been a sucker for a good 1950's vintage day dress but what of this specific trend, and what of it's mascot, the secretary blouse?

We can't seem to shop anywhere lately without coming across something like this.


Why hello frumpy, what's your name? Prim and proper is one thing but attack of the hand-eating blouse is clearly another. We're finding this ultra literal translation of this trend quite a bit boring and another fabulous example of how to be a fashion victim.

Options abound for adopting a hint of this trend and giving yourself the option for wearing the garment next year. Several favorites below:

Banana Republic Satin Ribbon Top: $78


Just the black and white kicks it up a notch and makes the whole look more youthful.

Anthropologie Alameda Top: $59
More contemporary drape, nice sleeve detail. Would be great with a pencil skirt and some crazy heels.

J Crew Rivoli Blouse: $115


Not quite the traditional shape at all but definitely hinting towards that YSL ovoid silhouette that folks are loving right now.

Finally, we think the most brilliant way of capturing this trend in a semi-literal manner is with a sleeveless secretary blouse a la Natalie Portman's costume in Wes Anderson's short film Hotel Chevalier. We think that if you choose to go with the flouncy tie neck or any sort of ruffle, it is imperative to also impart a sense of long and lean. The sleeveless shirt lends a beautiful columnar aspect to an outfit especially when paired with a wide-leg trouser and high heeled boot.

We can't find an image of it online but you can download the short film for free here.

The plural for "Man Purse" is "Men Purse."

We have stuff. In fact, we love our stuff. We wouldn’t even have this little medium and venue of judgment and recreation if we didn’t love stuff, in general. What women have learned is that they need a constantly accessible location to keep said stuff. The guys, while wary and a little bit concerned, are on their way.

Enter the man purse.

Now, I am not the phenom at bags that Bets may be (she is, of course, in charge of handbags worldwide), but I am a connoisseur of the masculine alternative. Be it a messenger bag, camera bag, or backpack, it is clearly socially acceptable for men to carry an everyday bag. It’s even smart, considering how many tools of necessity we have nowadays (phone, wallet, keys, blackberry, iPhone, camera, iPod, headphones, books, Airborne, keycards, etc.) that won’t comfortably fit into our pockets without looking fools (no, you’re not the exception. You stuff your pockets with all this crap, you look like a moron, sorry…).

Guys, you can rock these bags, no question. You can even look good doing it. Okay, don’t worry, we’re not asking that you go out and do something like this:


(Who knows if mustard is back, but we don't feel like indulging those who think it is...)

But we are asking that you take into account a few reasonable thoughts before making snap purchasing decisions. Let’s review:

An everyday bag must not get in the way of…well… your life. Therefore, we suggest that any bag that will be accompanying you basically everywhere should fit the look that you’re going for, and the lifestyle that you lead.

For the messenger bag type of guy, the guy that means business and has the accessories to make sure he succeeds, we love the clean lines and variety of neutral tones that Jack Spade seems to churn out every season. It's timeless without being boring, it’s upscale without being oppressive, and it doesn't take that much thought to choose a tone that will compliment your outfit. These bags basically look good on everyone.

If you’re more of the perpetually active type, regardless of whether you are of the ranch-hand or urban cowboy variety, we suggest a standard backpack. Now don't be hasty, not all backpacks are created equal. In fact, most of them pretty much (to quote the vernacular) suck. They not only are bad to look at, but they are also comparatively uncomfortable (so, please, step away from the L.L. Bean catalog...). Surprisingly (and not that common in fashion), the more ergonomically-correct bags are the ones that have a sleeker, more structured look. And while, on the subway seat next to you, they look the same as any other backpack, on your back they actually fit your back well, and succeed in making you look more active and less bulky. They also hold a surprisingly large amount of cargo, all the while refusing to make you look top-heavy. Don't hate us in this suggestion, but North Face carries a surprisingly varied number of options. Loving this bag, in particular.

We are by no means against a large bag, as long as function necessitates form. When traveling, it's absolutely essential you have a pack that won't destroy the bliss that perfectly aligned vertebrae can bring. Here, we see an everyday backpack on the larger side, but one that doesn't bring a man down.


All in all, a tasteful man purse is a bag that a guy can wear, helping him look good, feel good, and find comfort in knowing he's always prepared. Semper paratus and whatnot... that's all we're saying.

Candles and Sense

In a perfect world, our homes would alternate between the smells of fresh cut flowers and homemade chocolate chip cookies. We know as well as anyone else that once in a while, everyone could use a little shortcut. Since we live in the days of the $100+ scented candle and we’ve witnessed some fairly hideous scents, we thought it might be helpful to provide a guide of sorts to home fragrance options.

Room Sprays – Think of room sprays as perfume for your home. A few quick pumps of the atomizer and a lovely, if short-lived scent fills the air. We're loving West Elm's Seagrass. This is a perfect scent for anyone who is a sucker for the smell of fresh cut grass. We're also a bit sad that the Wasabi Green-Tea Room Freshener from Williams-Sonoma seems to no longer be available, as that was also a welcome addition to any room. The scent, while unexpected, was definitely a nice surprise. Finally, we’re dying to try this Verbena scent from L’Occitane. Granted, room sprays don’t last as long as some of the other options but we often view that as a positive.


Reed Diffusers – We’ve been in the company of this type of home fragrance without incident but we’ve never had the courage to try them ourselves. They remind us way too much of incense. Incense makes us think of superficially spiritual yoga classes, natural clothing boutiques and that god-awful smell outside the Union Square Whole Foods. Who buys that stuff? Anyway, we think this orchid scent might be ok but we're still frightened of the potential spillage of that weird liquid goo so instead, we're going to recommend...

Candles - The simplest and most common form of home fragrance is the scented candle. We have some strong favorites in this category. Diptyque makes some incredibly luxurious bougies (francais for candles) and we can't get enough of the Jasmine variety. We also love this incredible brand called Burn. Yes, they are expensive but these candles give off their fragrance even before they're lit, thus providing a lot of so-called "bang for the buck." Lest you think the Aesthetes are high end snobs (well, we sort of are) we'll let you in on a little secret. The savvy consumer can fulfill their home fragrance needs with very affordable products. Dare we say the words Yankee Candle Company? Well friends, here are the rules:

1. We’re sticklers for this one, no fruity scents, ever. For men or women, we don’t care, there’s just no excuse for this. It reminds us of the scent of our (well, Betsy's) My Little Ponies and its gross. Fruity scented candles are to actual fruit scents as Jolly Ranchers are to actual fruit tastes.

2. No Vanilla. Who doesn’t love the scent of fresh baked cookies? However, we think most vanilla candles come off as sickly sweet so in this case, you’re actually going to have to bake something. (Phat Tony: "Well, sure, you could be reminded of cookies. You could also be reminded of Playdoh.") Trust us, your party guests and/or neighbors will thank you.

3. If you like florals, no problem, just stay away from the roses. We're not saying a nice Diptyque Rose candle is out of the question, we're just saying the inexpensive kind will smell like old ladies. We promise.

4. We think the secret to a nice inexpensive candle is to explore the woody scents and the linen scents. As we move into the fall/winter season, we love a nice pine scent. Yankee Candle offers Balsam and Cedar, Mistletoe, and Christmas Wreath. On the lighter side we have the fragrances meant to approximate fresh laundry drying in the midday sun such as Clean Cotton, Sunwashed Linen, Country Linen.

5. No home fragrance option is a substitute for a clean environment. This probably goes without saying but any sort of attempts to mask bad odors is futile one must begin the process with a blank slate.

Deconstructed Preppy: He said...

Before discussing the topic of the hour, I just wanted to say a little something... You know, if asked to do so, I would find it inordinately difficult to enumerate the reasons I honestly appreciate the weird, almost organic, synergy Betsy and I have. It's been happening since day one (ugh, the laughter just did not stop during those car pools to and from our fusion jazz class at McDowell, remember, Bets? When that girl did that thing and then rrrrrrip and then Jaleesa was so pissed because it was, like, right there... oh, good times), and it seems like every day, we have a revelation that really secures our friendship. It's ridiculous that all of the friends we individually have almost immediately understand that, if you're friends with one, leave space at the table for the other. No, not like a romantic relationship... more like what Ben Stiller hoped his relationship with Tom Cruise would be during that stunt double skit at the VMA's. It's deep and it's real.

That being said, as Bets brought up, we have come to one of our most relevant conclusions (when it comes to all those superficial things we can't help but care about) about a trend that is defining next seasons fashion, not only for high fashion and couture, but also for accessible trends that we all are ready to embrace. We're ready to embrace it because it's easy for everyone, it's affordable, and we're all familiar with it... of course, this also means that if people we know have at least the most basic level of style, there's no excuse for doing it wrong. We call this "Deconstructed Preppy." Now, Bets has a way with describing fashion trends (being in the industry and all), but I'll just tell you how I see it. (Of course, if I WERE to talk high fashion, I would show you this Dolce and Gabbana... thing:

and then I would talk about the literal deconstruction of classic "preppy" elements in vaguely contrasting neutral tones. I would say that, while not necessarily applicable to the everyman, it does show what one can expect, piecemeal, from the general direction of men's fashion. I would, for example, note the double cuff accents, and subsequently affirm that repetition of something so structured tends to add symmetry to the entire piece, and how the branch/leaf pattern on the body of the jacket is welcome, though not surprising, as we've seen that motif in other areas of design for the past two or three seasons. I would also note, if I were to discuss this, that neutral tones create a clean palette on which to work with creative, but not visually overwhelming, design. Maybe then I would suggest that such literal translation of deconstructed, as in, slim pants destroyed by vultures and paparazzi, or, you know, whatever, is not such a good idea. You might have nice legs, but we don't want to see all of them on the corner of 23rd St. & Broadway. But I won't talk about that.)

We all have our own opinions, revolving around something similar, when we think of "preppy." Now, when we think "deconstructed," we think of that in two ways:

a) The separate pieces are actually being physically deconstructed in some way (like those pants above, but quite a bit less so) and then either left that way or reassembled with an extra element. (Note how the word "distressed" has become such a prevalent term when it comes to casual wear. Have we really been asking for clothes that already seem like they've been worn just under TOO MUCH? Yes, and gladly. Thanks for asking.) As for reassembled pieces, you've been seeing (and you will be seeing) a lot of subtle detail added to pockets, cuffs and emblems. Hopefully, this won't appear in applique form (thank you, 7th grade Home-Ec), but it will appear in the form of varying patterns and complimenting textures. Don't hate when you first see them... it's a welcome change.

b) We also think that "preppy" is being deconstructed conceptually. Fashion houses from Galliano to G-Star, Louis Vuitton to LRG, are taking the idea of "preppy" and adapting its general qualities (clean lines, versatile pieces, somewhat timeless edge), to current and future designs.

In the near future, Betsy (are we at "nickname" phase for our pseudonyms? B-Tizz? No. My bad), we'll be discussing elements that are happening basically everywhere (think stripes, think flannel, think outdoors brought indoors), and hopefully giving you the know-how as to balance your own personal style with what's going to be insanely prevalent everywhere... You know, within reason. Get ready for us to have a really good time. Really.

Deconstructed Preppy: She said...

Phat Tony and I have found ourselves seeing eye to eye on all matters of taste since our early days at the McDowell School of Dance. Boiling down Fall 07's trend offerings into one shared theme is no exception. The notion has been brewing for some time now as we have recently explored both seersucker and summer plaid and the notion is: deconstructed preppy.

Here we have a unique situation where we've seen all the elements to a look before, yet somehow, when tweaked and recombined, we create something new without creating something, well, just plain crazy. Our favorite visual guide comes from Balenciaga:


Here's a great example of flow from season to season. All those loose-fitting dresses you were wearing this summer? Throw on a blazer, add some tights and the scarf of your choice and, voila, we arrive at something very new and current.

Before you go do anything bold like pop your collar, let's discuss what we mean by deconstructed. From both men and women, we're looking for the UNexpected here. So if Kanye West is doing it, did it three minutes ago or appeared at VMA's in it, we might want to rethink things. We're looking for something divergent from the irony of the preppy rapper, we're looking for something a bit more lived in. For example, for women, we hate the idea of pastels and pearls right now but we love the idea of a men's-style striped shirt and blazers over everything (especially where we wouldn't think they'd belong).

We also love some of the androgynous looks for women and deconstructed preppy happens to be one of the unique trends that crosses gender boundaries. More to come for the Men's point of view but until then I leave you with one last visual for inspiration. It's a bit reminiscent of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air's inside out jacket circa 1990 and yes, we love it.

Vested Interests

Vests have come back into our lives faster than Michael Vick struck his plea deal and we think it's high time to discuss a few rules here. Let's start with the women.

Note to Fergie Ferg, I thought we agreed to leave Kids Incorporated in the 80's, no? There are so many things going awry in the above photo that Phat Tony and I have a collective headache. (Phat Tony: "Ow.") The overarching difficulty we have though, is the poor use of the vest. The rule illustrated in this example is while we'd like to restrict the use of vests to thinner women, we also feel that it's important to have a smaller chest (read: only B cups and below need apply). We like how Paris Hilton's vest below contributes to a long, lean silhouette.

For the men, several issues arise. Once again, we ask that the general public submit to dressing for their body types. Vests are only passable on thinner guys. No exceptions. Think Pete Doherty or Adam Brody, for example. We love how a v-neck sweater vest can dress down a suit.

One must always pay attention to the proportion and fit of one's shirt in order to avoid bulkiness, and of course, it is always imperative that one wears a shirt.

How To Wear Leggings

There are a few elements of fashion that are so simple yet are bungled as often as Lindsay Lohan
is arrested. Take leggings for example. This item of apparel is simple
with variations only in length and color. Yet even this may be a little
too much choice for people.

Apologies for the quality but a stealth picture had to be taken in this instance of a strong leggings don't.


Note the woman on the right. Note the length of
leggings she's chosen which hit right at mid-calf. Even in the low
quality photo she looks frumpy. A legging that ends in the middle of
the calf muscle truncates the leg and no woman, not evenBrazilian supermodels want that.

We have two options to offer friends and the first is for everyone. Short or tall, thin or heavy, everyone's legs elongate when wearing leggings to the ankle. Here's the do:

If you are taller than 5'5", you have another option. You may also choose to wear leggings that stop just below the knee.



This look came from the Marni Spring 2007 runway show. Looking forward to fall, Consuelo Castiglioni
has shown an even fresher leggings look; a stirrup legging. Before you
say that sounds just about as modern as the side ponytail, take a look.

You sort of can't tell what's going on in the nebulous ankle/shoe region. All you notice are long slim legs.

Flower Power

With things like this walking down the runway, we may need to say a few words about florals:



For the women, the note is "caution." There are so many bad florals out there. And by bad, we mean tasteless. Unfortunately there's been a time and a place for most if not all bad fashion and by many of us, including the aesthetes, mistakes were made in the 90s. All those Brenda Walsh-babydoll dresses with the teeny tiny floral prints. Especially those worn with some kind of ridiculous (on the order of Mayim Bialik) hat and dare I say it, combat boots. Stay away from small florals. They are librarian-esque, as are floral prints in pastels. Think abtstracted, or big graphic florals and bold brights. Visual aids below and here courtesy of design*sponge.



For men, the story is different and the world is a bit topsy-turvy. We LOVE floral prints on men. We think it's the just the right amount of bravado. The "I'm-so-comfortable-with-my masculinity-I-couldn't-give-a-crap-what-you-think" look. From subtle,



to overt,





it functions a bit like the urban/rock & roll version of the pink shirt. We green-light florals for men but please pair with jeans or something a bit de-constructed. Another simple rule is to be read between the lines here... when rocking something softer, work it with something a bit harder, not only to play up the irony, but also to emphasize that you actually know what irony means. No one wants to look like a dandy.


At the end of the day, confidence is everything. If you're wearing something unexpected, act as though you did it on purpose... except, of course, popped collars. No one should pop a collar on purpose.

The Long & The Short of it...

Ah, the world of shorts. Ever since the short pant became common in adult wear in the United States in the early 20th century, we have been subjected to a barrage of fashion mishaps (need I say more than the men's cutoff?). Now that it's full-on summertime, we thought we'd tackle the issue.

Men:
The world of men's shorts has recently expanded to include styles from the past three decades... we've been seeing the short shorts, longer shorts, wider shorts, extremely tailored shorts... Men around the world now apparently have options. But unfortunately, such spectrum of choices creates a single outcome... lots of bad fashion choices. Not to worry, though, we're here to set you straight...

Let's start simple:

If you are wearing a bike short, you'd best be riding a bike. The rules for boardshorts are broader but just as strict (must be within 50 miles from coastline). And how about those short shorts? If you're not running or in the midst of some other strenuous activity, don't wear them. No one wants to see that much of your legs, sorry. A word on pants that zip off into shorts…suck it up and deal with the temperature change girly man, and personally, any clothing company that has continued to allow such design mistakes to be made needs to have a talking-to. Do we need to remind you of Rob from Project Runway, Season One, and his march into fashion oblivion via the Post Office challenge? I would hope not. Carpenter Shorts: A.C. Slater called and he wants his wardrobe back.

Women:
There are absolutely some people out there that look good in daisy duke's (i.e. anyone who was cast in any legitimate production of the Dukes of Hazard) but we say nay on the general taste front for this garment.

Skorts: one hundred percent useless item of clothing -- and, as an extremely relevant aside, we feel that "brunch" and "Brangelina" are the only acceptable portmanteaux. Wearing a skort is as ineffectual at creating a fashionable look as using a Taco Bell "spork" in delving into a filet mignon.

Culottes, Lederhosen, Pleated Chino Shorts: no, no, and shudder to think.

The style for women that I love right now is a loose short hitting at mid-thigh.


This look is modern, flattering and very fresh looking. Word of caution: This is a great look dressed up but will cause you to look like a child if you decide to dumb it down to t-shirt and sneakers. For the timid: try the Bermuda shorts hitting just above the knee. Counter-intuitively, the most slimming options taper towards the knee.