The Long & The Short of it...

Ah, the world of shorts. Ever since the short pant became common in adult wear in the United States in the early 20th century, we have been subjected to a barrage of fashion mishaps (need I say more than the men's cutoff?). Now that it's full-on summertime, we thought we'd tackle the issue.

Men:
The world of men's shorts has recently expanded to include styles from the past three decades... we've been seeing the short shorts, longer shorts, wider shorts, extremely tailored shorts... Men around the world now apparently have options. But unfortunately, such spectrum of choices creates a single outcome... lots of bad fashion choices. Not to worry, though, we're here to set you straight...

Let's start simple:

If you are wearing a bike short, you'd best be riding a bike. The rules for boardshorts are broader but just as strict (must be within 50 miles from coastline). And how about those short shorts? If you're not running or in the midst of some other strenuous activity, don't wear them. No one wants to see that much of your legs, sorry. A word on pants that zip off into shorts…suck it up and deal with the temperature change girly man, and personally, any clothing company that has continued to allow such design mistakes to be made needs to have a talking-to. Do we need to remind you of Rob from Project Runway, Season One, and his march into fashion oblivion via the Post Office challenge? I would hope not. Carpenter Shorts: A.C. Slater called and he wants his wardrobe back.

Women:
There are absolutely some people out there that look good in daisy duke's (i.e. anyone who was cast in any legitimate production of the Dukes of Hazard) but we say nay on the general taste front for this garment.

Skorts: one hundred percent useless item of clothing -- and, as an extremely relevant aside, we feel that "brunch" and "Brangelina" are the only acceptable portmanteaux. Wearing a skort is as ineffectual at creating a fashionable look as using a Taco Bell "spork" in delving into a filet mignon.

Culottes, Lederhosen, Pleated Chino Shorts: no, no, and shudder to think.

The style for women that I love right now is a loose short hitting at mid-thigh.


This look is modern, flattering and very fresh looking. Word of caution: This is a great look dressed up but will cause you to look like a child if you decide to dumb it down to t-shirt and sneakers. For the timid: try the Bermuda shorts hitting just above the knee. Counter-intuitively, the most slimming options taper towards the knee.