Weighing In: High Waisted Pants

Let's spin a yarn: Picture it, Sicily, 1942... Or maybe it was just last week on the lower east side. Regardless, Betsy was doing a little shopping. Looking for not much in particular I spotted what I thought to be a pair of flowy ivory linen wide leg pants. Snatch. Grabbed my size off the rack and headed towards the dressing room. The sales clerk breezed by stating encouragingly, "those pants fit so great they are really high waisted." Time stopped. High-waisted? Laughing nervously, I pressed on, not wanting to be rude, into the fitting area. Well, what can I say friends, it was as if Bea Arthur's wardrobe stylist attacked me in my sleep. I lost my appetite for days. Then I saw this:

Mischa Barton is a thin girl. I'd put her at 115 pounds tops. As she scurried past the mirror in the morning, she must've noticed that these jeans MAKE HER LOOK HUGE. Then I saw this:


After all the work Ken Paves and Mike Alexander did on post-divorce Jessica did no one in the Simpson camp call a stylist? Kate Moss can barely pull this off and as we all know, Kate Moss is 100% at the border of the final frontier of edgy. Kate Moss is as far out as you go people. Step away from the high waisted denim.