Grammy Hits and Misses... Abridged.

So the Grammys were weeks ago... Fine. We figured that by separating ourselves from the event might give us some perspective when it came to our gut judgment calls. Perhaps surprisingly, perhaps not, our opinions became even more pronounced as time went on. Sure, they may be trite, but sometimes opinions just need to be expressed. We're sorry. Or you're welcome. You know, whatever.

However, in the spirit of self-restraint, we wanted to limit our opinions to the best and the worst of the Grammys.


Best: Alicia Keys. From her beautiful look when she kicked off the awards to the kick-ass performance of "No One," this was, we think, a high point in Ms. Keys' career. She got herself out from behind that piano (although, please, you shine behind that piano as well), and scream-sang in the way we love. I think I actually started giggling mid-performance, as I tend to do when an artist is so ridiculously amazing that I can't understand where the talent comes from. I don't know what Betsy's immediate reaction was, but I know it was positive.


Worst: Okay, Tina, we've loved you for a while. You've always been a bit crazy, sure, but we don't hate you. You had the Ike-thing to deal with, and that's gotta mess you up something fierce. Fine. Big wheels still kept on turning, and Proud Mary kept on burning. But then you had to show up in a aluminum foil corset/bodysuit. And while no one can be sure, we assume no bra was involved. I won't lie and say that would look horrible on everyone... but babe, seriously, that outfit was not meant for you. No, not at your fitting, and no, definitely not on stage.

And while we're frightened to admit this, we were kind of glad Beyonce was there to back you up. She clearly knew her place, filling in a role as "background dancer" whenever she wasn't featured, but still singing her ass off. And, Tina, we're thrilled you didn't publicly diss her. No one needs another Divas Live moment.*

" In case anyone needs a reminder, picture this: Mariah Carey, with great flourish, gestures to Aretha Franklin and proclaims, "All Hail the Queen of Soul!" And then Aretha turns to Mariah, calmly stating, "and Miss Carey."



Sucks.